


Room 666

by underthe_pinkmoon



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Demons, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mark talks like a skater bro from southern california, Panic Attacks, Romance, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Storms, Suicidal Thoughts, Supernatural - Freeform, TW descriptions of anxiety, gratuitous cheetah girls references, not even sure how that happened
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2019-12-06 19:55:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18224717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/underthe_pinkmoon/pseuds/underthe_pinkmoon
Summary: Broke and lonely college student Jaehyun discovers the shy demon living in his apartment.





	1. The Party’s Just Begun

**Author's Note:**

> TW: detailed descriptions of anxiety attacks, and suicidal thoughts in later chapters.

Even though rain threatened to downpour all day, Jaehyun ignored the dark clouds in favor of getting to his classes on time. He already forgot his umbrella, no use going back and getting yet another tardy. Especially not in Differential Calculus.

He really regrets it now, hunched over, shivers racking his body. The thin white T-shirt he wore was close to useless against the rain and wind. It was the middle of summer, he hadn’t thought to wear a jacket.

Too afraid of water damage to pull out his phone and check the bus schedule, Jaehyun turns away from the road. There has to be a place he can stand under, just until the rain lets up a little.

He gasps as cold water suddenly drenches him from behind. “Noway,” He whimpers, curling tighter into himself. A car driving through a puddle soaked his back completely. He may be an absentminded dumbass, but Jaehyun refuses to get sick just standing around waiting to get splashed again.

“I’ll walk home, whatever. It’s fine.” Jaehyun lowers his head, bracing himself against the wind. He begins walking as fast as he can towards his apartment.

He runs up the stairs, panting. His wet fingers slip on the key, after a few tries he slips it into the lock and shoves the door open.

Dark and oppressive silence greet him. He locks the door quickly. He’s completely soaked. The water drips off his clothes and runs into his eyes.

Jaehyun slips off his backpack, wiping his hand across his face. His papers are surely ruined. He’ll have to get up extra early to reprint everything.

He gropes the wall blindly for the light switch. The light bulb turns on with a spark, then continues to slightly flicker in and out. A little ominous, maybe, but it gives the room atmosphere.

That’s all his apartment is really, one room. There’s a kitchen in the corner, a bathroom the size of a closet, and a mattress on the floor. He’s renovated some cardboard boxes into a coffee table and nightstand. It’s no IKEA setup but the look is definitely vintage. Could be trendy, at some point.

He begins the process of peeling off all his wet clothes and tossing them into the sink. He’ll wash them in there later. He winces before taking his phone out of his pocket. It’s a cheap flip phone, but still annoying to replace. He strips completely naked, shivering uncontrollably. Taking a shower would be useless. He gets hot water about once a week, and yesterday was that day. Showering now would be the same as walking back outside into the rain.

Jaehyun scrubs his hair with a towel, and dries off. Dinner, dinner, dinner. His body aches for food and warmth. He throws on sweats and a hoodie. For once he’s thankful he has no AC.

His kitchen cabinet produces a box of saltines, a can of corn, and three slices of bread. Delicious. He tries to think of a way to combine all three that wouldn’t be totally ridiculous.

In the end he eats the bread plain, the corn out of the can, and munches on the crackers while he delicately peels his wet worksheets out of his soaked bag and lays them on the floor. Surprisingly, the ink hasn’t melted together, the paper was just wet and needed to dry.

One responsibility lighter, somewhat full, and almost dry, Jaehyun allows himself to lay down on the mattress. He sighs and closed his eyes. Relief is a rare emotion, these days. He lets it wash over him slowly, warm and light as sunshine.

It doesn’t last long. He jolts up. Work. Fuck. He forgot he’d taken an earlier shift tonight.

He bolts up, throwing on his uniform and damp backpack. He’s about to bust through the door when he sees it- sitting right in front of the door. His umbrella.

He tilts his head.  _When_ _did I put this_ _here?_ It must’ve been a brief moment of brilliance. Whatever. He snatches it.

\---

Being a waiter at a 24 hour diner is honestly the best gig Jaehyun could hope for. It tips well and he can always get shifts.

(And, this is a little gross, he can eat leftover food off the plates while he washes dishes)

The only concern is his coworkers.

He tries to be friendly, he really does. He always smiles at customers, thanks them for coming. His dimples tend to soften even the most impatient assholes. But there’s a difference between the fake friendliness of customer service, and having to make an effort to not seem like a broke weirdo loner to other people.

The difference takes the form of a boy named Johnny, who has made it his mission in life to befriend Jaehyun. God knows why. There’s absolutely nothing interesting about him. They attend the same college. That’s all they have in common. Well that, and-

“Please tell me you heard the new J Cole song. Please Jaehyun. Because if you haven’t, I’ll have to play it through the speakers, and Taeil will absolutely fire me.”

“Johnny-“

“No no, it’s fine, it’s cool. You don’t have to make excuses. It’s whatever.  _Clearly_ you don’t care about me, or my job-“

“Johnny, cmon-“

“But even  _more_ importantly, Jaehyun, you don’t care about yourself. If you did, you would’ve listened to this song-oof!“

Jaehyun cuts him off with a shove, laughing. “Johnny I promise I tried to, really, I didn’t have time to go to the library today.” He freezes. He didn’t mean for that to slip out.

Johnny rubs his shoulder, pouting. 

“The library? You listen to music in the  _library_? You can’t even play it out loud! Unless...Jaehyun really, I expected better of you, breaking all the rules.”

Jaehyun feels his ears turn hot. “No, no, I just, I live kinda far so, I hangout there before work,” First lie of the day. “And I don’t play it out loud.”

Johnny chuckles. “I’m kidding. You seemed kinda out of it. Did something happen?”

See. This is what Jaehyun means. The banter is fine, the teasing is fine. He honestly enjoys it. The questions are what gets him. It’s hard enough not letting details of his financial/mental situation slip in conversation. Direct questions make the blood rush to his head. He feels weak and exposed.

He messes with some silverware. “I’m good, yea-“

“Johnny, are you serious? There’s like, five customers waiting dude! Can you like, host them man?” Mark yells from the kitchen.

Johnny rolls his eyes. “Aye aye captain,” he salutes in the direction of the women’s bathroom. Jaehyun snickers, relieved. Two relieved feelings in one day? He actually does feel good. What he was about to tell Johnny wasn’t a lie.

The night goes by quickly. He steals a few bites while no ones looking when he washes the dishes. Johnny is kept busy in the front. He occasionally throws Jaehyun a funny face or obscene gesture.

“Hey dude, you can probably leave now. I’ll finish your shift.” Mark holds his hand out.

Jaehyun awkwardly reaches out to- fistbump, or something, but is given a complex handshake instead. “Are you sure? I can stay late, I have nothing to do.” Big lie. Counts for at least three lies. Four lies total.

“Yea it’s no prob. I don’t even know where Taeil like, went, but, you’ll get paid for the hour. Me and Johnny can close up.” He points his thumb towards Johnny, who is pretending to be dead on top of the host stand.

Jaehyun smiles, gratefully. “I owe you one. I’m gonna go then.” He mirrors Mark’s gesture, pointing to the door.

“Peace!” Mark yells in a deep voice.

Jaehyun’s just outside when Johnny runs out, holding something.

“Hold up man, you forgot this!”

He turns around. In Johnny’s hand is a scratched up iPod Touch with the earbuds wrapped around. It’s sprinkled with faded Hello Kitty stickers. There’s a charger in his other hand. “That’s not mine-“

“I found this in my sister’s drawer the other day while we cleaned her room out for college. I’m not sure if you can even still buy music on it but, at least YouTube works?” He holds it out to Jaehyun.

Jaehyun’s eyes widen. “You’re giving this to me? Johnny, I can’t take this.”

“Jae it’s like, 10 years old and I got it for free. Just take it,” He laughs.

Jaehyun feels warmth spread through his arms, down to his fingers. He smiles so wide his eyes turn into crescents, dimples on full display.

“I promise I’ll listen to the J Cole song, I promise-“

Johnny laughs, hard. “Good music can’t be rushed. Listen to it when the mood feels right. In the meantime, I checked, you’ve got every Cheetah Girls album on there. Make them count.”

A loud laugh bursts out of Jaehyun before he can stop it. Johnny flinches from the volume, but still smiles brightly.

Jaehyun cradles the iPod in his hands, like it’s something precious, and turns it on. A photo of someone’s butt is set as the lock screen.

“Is this-“

“Mark? Of course. You could recognize that butt anywhere.”

“It’s perfect. Seriously Johnny, thank you.” He grins, flipping it over. “The stickers especially are a nice touch.”

“I knew I was right to leave them on. They scream ‘Jaehyun vibes’.”

———

When Jaehyun was younger, his Mom used to tell him that money couldn’t buy happiness. You could be the richest man in the world, but it meant nothing if you were sad to start with. “Rich people go through the same trials and tribulations as we do. They’re all just as unhappy.”

Jaehyun believed her of course, still believes her now, but sometimes, when he’s down to his last few dollars, starving, aching, and exhausted.

Well.

Money can’t buy happiness, but surely it doesn’t hurt.

And on the really bad nights, when he can’t remember his Mom’s voice, or his Grandma, or anyone else, when he can’t feel the hunger, when all he can hear is the silence of the room and his own heartbeat-

That’s when the much quieter voice will swoop in and whisper, “What good is money when you’re always going to be stuck here, either in this room, or another one just like it. You’re a  _failure,_ Jaehyun. Nothing will ever change that.” Those are the nights he barely gets an hour of sleep, too full of anxiety to close his eyes. He craves it, desperately. Anything to quiet the Bad Thoughts.

He’s six songs into the High School Musical soundtrack when he feels a familiar uneasiness starting in his stomach. His dried homework is spread across the cardboard coffee table, barely complete. It’s about 4:00 in the morning.

He turns up the volume, rubbing his arms. Touching himself, he’s learned, helps. Not sexually. Running his fingers across his arms, stomach, down his back. The pressure distracts him.

The tingling nervous feeling spreads down the back of his legs. He moans. He covers his eyes with one arm, slipping the other hand underneath his shirt. He glides his fingers up and down across his stomach. He tries to take deep breaths.

The song is becoming too much. He quickly taps through the rest of the library, finding some random piano music. He recognizes it as one of the songs that originally came with all the iPods. It’s funny, you can forget so many things, but remember a song you heard once 11 years ago.

It’s been 11 whole years since-

He moans again, the tingling spreading to his head. He can feel the faint rush beginning in his ears, numbness starting to creep in.  _In, one two three, out, one two three. Johnny was really nice to me today. I talked to Mark. I’m not hungry. I have music now. It’s only Friday. I can sleep tomorrow. I’m stuck. I’m stuck here. I’m trapped. I can’t stop feeling this way._

His breath comes out in gasps now. Sometimes he’s able to slow it down before it happens. He can control his grip on reality and remind himself he’s fine, he’s okay. It’s just so random, and unpredictable. One moment he’s alright , the next it slowly builds up until out of nowhere-

CRASH!

Jaehyun shoots up, panting . His eyes widen, frantically darting around. It sounded like glass shattering. Did someone just break into his window?

On the sixth floor? 

Still gasping for breath, he turns around, bracing himself. Nope, nothing. The noise hadn’t even come from that direction. Then what, where-

Across the room, the broken pieces of his lightbulb are scattered on the floor. He’d had it switched off, using a lamp next to his bed instead.

“It,” He breathes “It exploded while it was turned off? How is that, what?”

It’s moments like these he wishes he had an internet connection to Google all the weird stuff in his life. Whatever. At least no ones breaking in.

He realizes, suddenly, that his panic attack stopped. The noise focused his energy on something, and the relief afterwards of not being robbed calmed him down.

He runs a hand through his sweaty hair and slumps back on the bed. Exhaustion seeps into his bones, thick and heavy. He can just clean the glass tomorrow, right? No one’s gonna step on it. He can close his eyes, his homework can get done tomorrow, he doesn’t have work. He can’t remember the rest of his usual mental checklist, he’s just so  _tired._

He reaches to turn off the lamp, arm dropping down heavy on the mattress. His breathing slowly evens out, lips parting.

The sound of crunching glass echoes throughout the room. A voice, airy and soft, murmurs “Ouch.”

Jaehyun screams.


	2. Dig A Little Deeper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW anxiety and panic attack mentions

“Here Jaehyun, order whatever you want”

“Should I get a wrap? Or should I get 100 boneless wings?” Jaehyun contemplates seriously.

Mark gasps “How much is that?”

“I’m kidding.”

Mark leans over the menu. “$105?! Johnny look! That’s like, $3 per wing! That’s a good deal though!”

Johnny gives him a look. “It’s actually $1- okay, sure, yeah, except you still have to pay $105.”

Jaehyun smirks, waving at the waiter. “We can afford it.”

_Wait, what?_

Jaehyun jerks awake, sweating. A dream. He was just dreaming. Okay.

He looks around. The suns already up, making the room unbearably hot. His papers are still strewn all over the place. And the lightbulb-

Jaehyun freezes. The voice.

Did he dream that too?

He racks his memory. For some reason, he doesn’t remember falling asleep after hearing it. He remembers almost being asleep, and then, loud and clear. Crunch. _“Ouch.”_

It must have been another dream. It felt so _real,_ though. The scream felt real. He can almost feel the ringing in his ears.

He slumps back down on the mattress. No use worrying about it now. The past is in the past. It’s a very ironic thing for him to be telling himself, but. Whatever.

He rolls over, grabbing the iPod.  _3:42 pm?!_

Thank god it’s Saturday.

Jaehyun sits up robotically, shuffling together his papers. He still has hours of homework ahead of him, he’s already wasted too much time. His shift starts in-

Right. No work today.

That changes things. After he does his work, what’s he gonna do? Maybe go to the library and use their internet to finally listen to that song, stream some illegal movies, the usual.

To be honest, Jaehyun would be pretty content to just lay in bed and exist with no responsibilities, but it’s so hard. There’s a constant voice in his head saying  _but did_ _you_ _do that? Did_ _you_ _remember this? Did_ _you pay your_ _bills? Did_ _you_ _get food_ _yesterday_ _?_

His stomach rumbles. Maybe he should figure that out first. Unfortunately, dream Jaehyun didn’t eat the boneless wings before waking up. The corner store down the road has some solid deals going on. Jaehyun would just about die for a green tea ice cream-

Blood.

There’s blood on the carpet.

What the fuck.

He inhales sharply. Does he have temporary amnesia? He doesn’t remember stepping on the glass. How is it possible he’s forgetting all these things?! Not only that, it doesn’t even hurt anymore.

He slowly lifts a foot. The bottom of his feet are scratch free, completely normal. 

He scrutinizes his hands. He takes off his shirt. Then his shorts. He looks in the bathroom mirror.

Nothing.

Internally panicking, Jaehyun locks the bathroom door, looking for a weapon. Somehow, someone else  _had_ to be in his apartment. Where were they even hiding? In the ceiling?

He grabs his razor, formulating a plan of attack, when the vent in the corner catches his eye.  _Please, no._

A person could technically fit, if they were very small and skinny and also maybe about 6 years old. If a child really broke into his apartment, Jaehyun would probably not even be mad. He’d be kinda impressed.

He recalls the voice from last night. It was faint and a little high pitched, but definitely not a child’s voice. It had been a man’s voice.

Maybe he left in the night? Jaehyun’s posture relaxes and he sits down on the toilet. Come to think of it, the intruder also didn’t even take anything. The only thing of value Jaehyun owns, as of yesterday, is a 10 year old iPod that barely works. And it’s still sitting on the bed. There’s no other signs of a break in, except the mysterious blood. He checked the front door. It’s still shut and locked.

Jaehyun buries his head in his hands. Okay, maybe a stray cat snuck in somehow and cut itself, which woke Jaehyun up, but in his barely conscious state he thought he heard a human?

Maybe it was a ghost cat.

Or maybe-

No, no. There’s no such thing as ghosts. If there were, Jaehyun would be devastated. Not because he’s afraid of them, but because none of them have visited him.

So there’s no intruder, no ghost cat, and it’s not his blood. 

This will just be a mystery of life, Jaehyun decides. Another thing to add to his endless list of future Google searches.  _There is blood on my floor of unknown origin. How did it get there?_

He trades his razor for a towel and gets to work cleaning the floor. He still has time to visit the library before it closes. And  _eat._

Out of nowhere, his phone starts ringing. He honestly forgets he has one most of the time. The caller ID is unknown.

He flips it open. “Hey Jae, it’s ya boy, John-D!” Johnny laughs awkwardly, then clears his throat. “Yeah, so, me and Mark were gonna maybe go out with some friends later tonight and he asked me to ask you-“ he cuts off, grunting. Jaehyun can hear cackling somewhere in the background.

“Mark, if you just scuffed my new sneakers- anyways.  _I’m_ asking you if you wanna come.”

Jaehyun feels the blood rushing through his ears. He has never in his life gone out drinking with friends. It just- yeah. Hasn’t happened. There’s nothing stopping him from going necessarily, except-

His stomach rumbles. Loudly.

“Ah Johnny, thanks so much for asking but, I’m actually already busy tonight, sorry.”

Lie number one. He can’t afford to go out, and also eat. Plus, homework.

“Aw man that’s okay, we’ll hang some other time. Also I just want to clarify I asked Taeil for your number, I didn’t stalk you or anything. Mark, please shut up.”

Jaehyun chuckles. “It’s fine, I figured. I really appreciate you asking seriously, just...”

“Yeah, I get ya. Another time. What are you doing later by the way, if you don’t mind me asking? Perhaps listening to J Cole’s new song on repeat?”

Ah crap. Lie number two.

“I actually was gonna listen to A Cheetah-licious Christmas for the fifth time in a row, but maybe I can squeeze that in somewhere.”

Johnny laughs, hard. “Seriously though. Lis-ten to-it. I gotta go, Mark’s being an asshole. Catch ya at the diner!” He hangs up.

Jaehyun saves his number on his way to the store. It’s one of six whole contacts. The other four are random classmates, his landlord, and Taeil.

He buys the usuals, slipping in a pack of frozen boneless wings that are coincidentally on sale and some green tea ice cream. It’s a feast tonight.

The library is packed with students cramming for finals. Jaehyun is almost afraid to listen to the song. He’s had 48 hours of buildup. It’ll either be the Best Song Ever, or a big disappointment. He plugs in his headphones.

It’s actually pretty good. He hums it on his way back home later, having downloaded it onto the iPod from the computer.

All in all, it turns out to be the perfect day, despite a terrifying start. His friends remembered he exists, he ate food he likes, he heard good music, and he got some work done. By the time he gets back to his apartment, it’s dark outside.

Jaehyun opens the door, slowly. His internet searches about mysterious floor blood gave no explanation, so while he’s not worried about it anymore, he’s still a little cautious. He peeks his head in.

Nothing.

He flops down on the bed and turns his lamp on, flipping open a book he checked out. Crap, he forgot to replace the ceiling light. Whatever. 

He reads for a long time, totally engrossed, before he feels it. At first he brushes it off, but after a while, he realizes what it is.

Jaehyun wants to throw something. He does. The book flies out of his hands and hits the wall. His day was perfect. He slept for 12 hours. He ate such good food. Johnny  _called him_ on the  _phone._

He’s too pissed to rub his arms. Instead he punches the mattress, trying to replace anxiousness with anger. “Why!- the fuck!- am I!- always!- like this!-“

The frustrated tears well up before he can stop them. He breathes heavily, burying his face into his pillow. His arms are shaking. He scratches at them, digging in his nails.

Suddenly, he hears it. His whole body stills.

It’s the same shattering noise as last night, only this time, it’s coming from the bathroom.

Jaehyun wants to hide under his blanket and accept his fate. He’s not curious anymore, he’s just terrified. The apartment is actually haunted. He can’t believe it.

Whimpering, he uncovers his eyes and looks in the direction of the bathroom. The light inside is off, duh, so he can’t make anything out.

He grabs a flashlight from the kitchen and some salt. Salt works on ghosts right? Jaehyun swears he heard that somewhere.

Slowly, he crawls towards the bathroom, pressing his back against the wall.

He takes a deep breath, then shines the light inside the room.

It reflects off the broken glass on the floor from the lightbulb.

Jaehyun thinks maybe he’s actually going crazy. He’s paying the cheapest rent he could possibly find in the city. Obviously the building is going to have some problems. This is all the result of some very odd faulty wiring.

In a last attempt, just to clear his mind once and for all, he sprinkles some salt into his hand. The floor’s already dirty, right? Why not.

Just as he’s about to toss it in, a voice cries out.

“No! Please don’t!”

A man is standing in the bathroom, arms up, looking terrified.

Jaehyun’s legs give out.

He screams, frantically trying to crawl backwards.

“Ahh, this is bad. Please calm down! I’m not going to hurt you.” The man pleads.

At this point Jaehyun’s brain has disconnected from his body. He heaves, completely petrified.

“I really didn’t mean for this to happen, I promise. I would never try to hurt you, I just, I didn’t know what else to do-“ he cuts off when he notices Jaehyun about to hyperventilate.

“Oh no, no no, please don’t. Hey, it’s ok, I promise. I know this is all crazy but I can explain everything to you. You have to calm down, Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun feels numb.

_“_ _You have to calm down Jaehyun.”_

“ _Jaehyun,_ _it’s_ _okay,_ _there’s_ _nothing_ _wrong, see?_ _I’m_ _fine._ _Let’s_ _try to breathe, okay? Try it with me. In, and_ _out_ _. There._ _That’s_ _perfect_ _.”_

_“Please, Jaehyun, just, not right now. I can't right now. You have to relax, for me. For Momma."_

_“_ Mom,” he whimpers, curling in on himself.

The man looks relieved. “See? You’re okay, Jaehyun. Just relax, breathe. Everything’s alright. I said it before, but I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Mom...please don’t go.” Jaehyun sobs, body shaking as he begins to cry.

“Jaehyun, hey, Jaehyun. Shh, hey. It’s okay. She’s, uh, she’s not leaving you. She’s here!” The man gestures weakly to the room.

Jaehyun sniffs, shaking his head. “No,” he whispers. “She’s not. And who the fuck are you?”

The man looks taken aback. “I’m, well. This is hard to explain to people. You have to listen with an open mind, okay?”

Jaehyun says nothing, breathing heavily.

The man clears his throat. “Okay, well I uh, I’m a...I’m a demon. I’m trapped in your bathroom. I’ve been here since you moved in, but I decided not to reveal myself because, um, I didn’t want you to be scared of me. I guess that didn’t really work, huh?” He tries to chuckle. 

Jaehyun still lays face down on the floor, motionless.

“Yeah, so, you’re probably wondering, hmm, is this for real? No way. But uh, it is! I’m not sure how to leave this room. Something is trapping me here. I promise you, I would leave if I knew how. I swear. I can’t remember anything right now, but if you give me some time, I’ll try my best to think of something! In the meantime, I promise I’ll leave you alone from now on. Oh! My name is Taeyong. Not that it matters, ha, since I’m not gonna talk to you again. Just. Yeah.”

A long moment of silence passes. Taeyong looks around awkwardly, unsure whether to say anything else or to disappear.

Jaehyun’s back begins to move. At first, Taeyong thinks he’s crying again. After a moment though, he realizes.

Jaehyun is laughing. Hysterically.

He throws his head back, cackling. Taeyong perks up. He must’ve done something right! Jaehyun is so happy, he’s never seen him laugh like this-

“Are you fucking kidding me. You expect me to believe that bullshit?”

Taeyong deflates. Oh, no.

Jaehyun glares at him, furious. “First you break into my apartment, for fun I guess, because you didn’t even fucking take anything. Then you hide in my bathroom. And  _now,_ you tell me you’re a demon. And not only that, but you’re  _trapped._ Here. In my  _bathroom.”_

Taeyong looks at the ground. He knew this would happen. This is what always happens. “It’s super hard to believe, Jaehyun-“

“AND you know my name. So you’ve been stalking me too. Are you a serial killer or something? Please just kill me then. I’m sick of this bullshit.”

Taeyong flinches. He looks up, slowly. “No, Jaehyun, I- I would never kill you. Why- why would you want that?”

Jaehyun laughs, incredulously. “As my stalker, shouldn’t you already know? My life is a fucking disaster. I’m broke, alone, and every single day my body decides to freak out for no fucking reason. I can’t do this anymore, Taeyong. I-“ he freezes, eyes widening.

The air suddenly feels like it’s charged with electricity. Taeyong’s expression becomes serious, but not unkind.

“That’s the first time someone’s said my name in a really, really long time.”

Jaehyun looks shocked. “ _That’s_ what you choose to take away from all that? That I remembered your-“

“Jaehyun, I know you don’t believe me. I really don’t want you to think badly of me, but more than that, I don’t want you feel this pain and anger. I’ll prove it to you, if you want to see it. That I am what I say I am. I just- I don’t like doing it. I don’t like scaring people. And I want to warn you. Once you see it, your life can never go back to the way it used to be.” Taeyong holds his gaze before dropping it to the floor again, fidgeting his hands.

Despite his earlier terror, and now, rage, Jaehyun realizes he’s curious. He can’t necessarily say he believes Taeyong, but. In ranting about his current state of life, he realized he honestly has nothing to lose by giving in to this delusional psychopath. Maybe Johnny and Mark, but they have each other. They won’t miss him too much.

Worst case scenario, he gets to see his Mom again.

He looks at Taeyong wearily. “Just show me. I want to see.”

Taeyong looks distraught. “I....” He glances up, sadly. “...Okay, Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun sits back on the floor, hands resting in his lap. 

He braces himself for a weird ritual, or a convulsing dance.

He doesn’t expect it when Taeyong’s eyes turn completely pitch black.


	3. A La Nanita Nana

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW panic attacks

 

“Doyoung! Wait up!”

Jaehyun runs behind him, panting. The sun is so hot, he’s sweating buckets. The popsicle he’s holding is already practically melted. The sticky red residue looks kind of like blood. He licks it. It’s sweet  _and_ salty. Ew.

Doyoung turns around, sticking out his tongue. “Sorry that you’re sooooooo slowwwww,” he drags out the words and grins evilly.

He’s joking of course. It’s not even a good insult. Yet for some reason, Jaehyun’s ten year old heart throbs with hurt. Doyoung is his best friend in the whole world, and Jaehyun suddenly feels hatred towards him.

He stops running, staring at the concrete. He is slow, isn’t he? He thought he was a pretty fast runner but that’s not true. The dried popsicle juice clings to his hand, sticky and uncomfortable. When he looks up, Doyoung is far, far away. He hadn’t waited for him.

Jaehyun whimpers. He’s scared.

 

 

It’s nowhere near his most painful memory, but this is what Jaehyun’s brain decides to conjure up while he stares into the endless abyss of Tayeong’s obsidian black eyes. His body is completely paralyzed on the ground, contorted, limbs twitching. He feels drool starting to leak from the corner of his open mouth.

Taeyong blinks, staring him down. The air around him moves. His black hair seems to have lost gravity, because it’s floating around his face. Multiple piercings in his ears sparkle.

With a finger, he gestures for Jaehyun to come closer. Jaehyun’s body lifts into the air, completely out of his control.

He floats toward the bathroom. Taeyong regards him with pitying expression.

“See?” He pouts “This is so unpleasant.”

His voice is the worst thing Jaehyun has ever heard. It feels like someone melted hot wax and poured it directly into his ears, then dragged him to the bottom of the ocean at 100 miles per hour. The pain is indescribable. He’s positive he’s going to go deaf. He tries to scream, but he can’t.

Taeyong wipes the drool off his mouth with his thumb. The skin burns.

“I won’t talk too much, it hurts right?” Jaehyun whines. “Yeah, I know. This isn’t my true form, not even close but I won’t force you to look at that. You’d probably go blind.” He strokes Jaehyun’s hair. “When I put you down, you have to promise me you’ll try to relax. I know that can be hard for you sometimes- not that I’m, I’m really not trying to stalk you-“ he stutters nervously. Jaehyun registers disbelief, despite the excruciating pain.  _Why the fuck is he nervous?! He could kill me at any moment. I’m the one that should be nervous._

“I’ve seen your um, attacks. I actually- ah sorry sorry, I’m talking too much. I’ll let you go now, okay? Please relax, I won’t hurt you.”

At this point Jaehyun has to trust him. He could’ve destroyed him at any other time but chose not to. He internally winces when he remembers that he  _yelled at and cursed out a demon._

Slowly Jaehyun’s body is lowered to the ground. Taeyong slumps against the doorframe. His hair stops floating and his eyes return to their normal- one is dark brown and the other is as green as an emerald. Okay, that’s actually not very normal, but. Nothing is normal anymore.

Jaehyun stares at him numbly, eyes wide and trembling. His ears still throb in pain and his body shakes uncontrollably.

Taeyong moves to stand up, making Jaehyun flinch. He hold out a hand to comfort him. Jaehyun recoils.

Taeyong almost looks...sad. “Thank you for not screaming! I can tell you’re scared, but you’re being so brave!” He smiles weakly.

Jaehyun opens his mouth to- scream, probably, but all he can muster is a few whimpers. After a moment of contemplation mixed with mind numbing terror, he raises a shaking hand, and points to a worksheet and pencil laying across the room.

“You want that? Okay,” Taeyong flicks his wrist. The paper floats over to Jaehyun.

His hands are trembling, but Jaehyun manages to scratch out “ _Im sorry”._

Taeyong’s jaw drops. He shakes his hands frantically. “No no no, don’t be sorry! You did nothing wrong, trust me. I’m the one that’s super duper sorry. I should have never revealed myself to you, or broken your lightbulbs, or anything. Salt is really, really scary though, I couldn’t help it. And glass hurts.” He pouts again.

Jaehyun picks up the pencil. “ _Lightbulb why”._

Taeyong gasps, then looks a bit embarrassed? Sheepish?

“Ah yeah, I didn’t really explain that huh? When you were panicking, it kinda made me panic too. I really didn’t like seeing you so upset. I tried to um, distract you? I couldn’t think of any other way to do it that wouldn’t completely freak you out, but again, didn't really work huh?” He gestures to Jaehyun's panicked expression.

So Taeyong was trying to...help him?

Jaehyun is so confused, but he feels less afraid. His body trembles only slightly, and he’s covered in a sheen of cold sweat. It feels like a fever, fatigued and uncomfortable.

Taeyong looks around nervously, playing with his fingers again. Jaehyun opens his mouth and whispers weakly, “Glass is...dangerous...”

The demon still looks sheepish, but he smiles faintly. “I know! I realized that after I stepped on it. Ouchie.”

Jaehyun can’t believe it.  _Ouchie_. “Demons have...blood?” he croaks.

Taeyong nods frantically. “Mmhmm! When I’m in this form, I’m basically just a normal human! I have healing abilities and stuff, but I can still get hurt or sick if I’m not careful. I really hate being sick. It’s worse than being stuck in Hell.”

Taeyong pouts, which Jaehyun is realizing is a habit. Suddenly he thinks of a question.

“Why are you here, instead of-“ he cuts off, coughing harshly. Taeyong springs up like a deer and brings him a cup of water from the bathroom sink. His body and movements are as graceful as a dancers.

Jaehyun chugs the whole thing, wiping his mouth on the bag of a shaky wrist.

“Why am I here instead of Hell, you mean?” Jaehyun nods.

“I was summoned a while ago by someone trying to make a deal. Usually it takes mmm, 10 minutes? Easy peasy. But this human was really mean to me. They violated our contract and trapped me here. I have no clue how to be honest. I’ve been trying to figure it out.”

Jaehyun's jaw drops, raw throat stinging. “Making a deal with the devil...that’s a real thing.” Taeyong nods. “The people...do you take their souls?”

Taeyong giggles. “Hee hee, no silly. Not me. They live their life and get what they want, and then when they die they go straight to Hell. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.”

Jaehyun doesn't notice the reference. His heart is beating out of his chest. Hell is real, clearly. That means-

“Heaven is real?”

Taeyong purses his lips. “I think so? I’ve never been. I’m not sure what it’s like at all. I can tell you though, Hell is no joke. Don’t even think about making a deal with me. I would never let you go down there.”

Heaven is real. His Mom is there. He’ll see her again. He feels like crying, but he’s too exhausted.

Relief, his new best friend, gently urges him down until he’s laying on the floor.

“That makes me...so happy,” he whispers, eyes wet.

Taeyong smiles, teeth sparkling. “Yay!” He claps his hands together. “Yeah, most people cheer up when they realize death isn’t just an endless abyss. It’s nothing like living but, it’s not so bad.”

Jaehyun blinks slowly. “How long have you...been here?”  _How many times have you seen me naked?_

“I’ve been stuck here for almost a year. And I know what you’re probably thinking!” He points accusingly, “Whenever you did...things...” Taeyong blushes, “I forced my body to go to sleep. I’ve never seen you naked or anything else, okay!”

Jaehyun nods, stifling a yawn. “That’s...good. I don’t really care either way.”  _Lie number who knows. Lie number who cares._

Taeyong huffs. “Well I do care. Humans can be really gross. Not that you’re gross, um, hey are you, are you okay?”

“Yeah m’just...a little tired...that’s all...” Jaehyun tries hard to fight the exhaustion. There is literally a demon sitting right in front of him. This is the worst time  _ever_ to take a nap.

“Well that makes sense, it is night time! And demonic possession can be  _exhausting_ , trust me. I didn’t even enter you and I feel a bit weak, too.”

“Enter me...” Jaehyun mutters. His breathing slows.

“Not like that!” Taeyong whines, burying his face in his hands. He peeks through his fingers. “You can sleep, I’ll clean up the bathroom. Not the salt, you’ll have to do that yourself.”

“Mmm...kay....hey...umbrella...that you?”

“Huh? What- ohhh. From yesterday? Yeah, haha, I forgot about that.”

Jaehyun smiles, dimples and all. “Thank...you...” he falls asleep on the floor, mouth hung open.

Taeyong stares, eyes sparkling. Jaehyun is so nice! So, so nice. Taeyong’s a demon for crying out loud, and Jaehyun just thanked him for meddling with his life.

There was no way he was just going to let Jaehyun back into the rain without an umbrella, though. Kind and sweet Jaehyun outside, alone and cold-

Oh well! The past is the past. Taeyong feels super optimistic. Sure it was a rocky start, but Jaehyun doesn’t seem like he’s angry or scared of him anymore. Much.

He gets to work cleaning the floor, trying his best to avoid any grains of salt. He wishes he could leave the bathroom, if only to get Jaehyun some new lightbulbs. The apartment is almost completely dark, save for the lamp on the floor.

He can at least help Jaehyun sleep comfortably. Taeyong raises his body off the ground with a finger and floats him onto the mattress, delicately setting his head down on the pillow. Jaehyun has completely sweat through his clothes and they look disgusting and uncomfortable, but Taeyong refuses to strip him without his permission.

He thinks back. Whoever (or, a scarier thought,  _whatever)_ trapped him here, they definitely messed with his memories. Taeyong has been around for thousands of human years, and he can remember stuff from way in the past. There’s no way he would forget something this significant, especially if it was only from a year ago.

But he checked the whole apartment! Whenever Jaehyun leaves, Taeyong moves things around in the main room, searching for clues. He’s looked everywhere in the bathroom that he can think of. Where-

He remembers something from yesterday. Jaehyun had stared at the bathroom vent for a long time. Taeyong assumed he thought there was someone hiding inside, but-

How had he never thought of this?!

Focusing his eyes on the vent, he unscrews the bolts and takes off the grate. He leans his head in and peers around. It’s pitch black, but he can see in the dark.

No way. No freaking way.

He’s torn the entire apartment apart and rebuilt it, floor boards and all! And yet somehow, he never thought to look in the vent. The vent  _inside the bathroom where he’s been stuck for an entire year._

Taeyong doesn’t usually curse. He lets out a string of very bad demonic words.

At the very end of the long, dark tunnel, painted on the panel where the vent spilts directions, is a Heptagram that faces the bathroom.

——

 

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!

 

 

Jaehyun groans, burying his face deeper into the pillow. He feels absolutely wrecked. Is this what a hangover is?

 

 

KNOCK! KNOCK!

 

“Yo Jaehyun? Dude? You in there bro?”

Jaehyun’s eyes shoot open.  _Mark?_

What the hell is Mark doing here? Surely this is yet another strange dream. Any minute now Johnny will appear, Mark will phase through the door, and they’ll both start freestyle rapping.

“Jaehyun? Johnny I dunno how to tell you this man but, I think Jaehyun died.”

Maybe not a dream. He sits up, arms shaking? Why is he so-

 

Oh my god.

Oh my  _god._

It all comes back to Jaehyun like a baseball bat to the head. Demons are real.

And one of them is-

Taeyong stares at him from the bathroom, nervously. He mouths “I’m gonna go,” and gestures towards the bathtub. Then vanishes into thin air.

BAM!

“Ow, fuck! I’m not strong enough to break the door down. Dude why didn’t you come here yourself? You’re like, way bigger than me. Yo stop calling me thick, that’s so fucking sus-”

Jaehyun gets up and immediately recoils. Is that awful smell coming from  _him?_ He sniffs his armpit and winces. Yes, absolutely.

He silently apologizes to Mark before getting up and opening the door.

“-I’m finna find the  _landlord,_ man-oh wait! He just opened the door! Yeah! He looks- oh, dude, you smell awful!” Mark covers his nose with his arm. “What happened?!”

Jaehyun's too nervous to feel embarrassed, but his ears turn red anyway. “Hey Mark, uh, I’m really sorry, I didn’t know you were coming, I would have showered. What’s-what's going on?”  _Also, how do you know where I live? Also please, please don’t ask to come inside._

Mark shakes his head, voice muffled, “Nah it’s fine, I’m the one who showed up outta nowhere.” He shakes the phone in his hand. “Johnny thought you got kidnapped or somethin', he sent me over to check while he took your shift again.” He puts the receiver to his mouth. “Yo Johnny I’ll call you later. Yeah, he’s fine. Would you like a visual? I’ll send you a photo.”

Jaehyun shakes his head frantically. “That’s really not-“

Click! “See? Fine.” Jaehyun hears muffled yelling from the speaker. He can’t see the photo but he’s one hundred percent positive it looks like he has a terminal illness. “I’m peacin’ out. Peace!” Mark hangs up.

He looks at Jaehyun, smiling. “Glad to see you’re alright! To be honest I was worried too. You  _never_ miss work. It’s like you’re a robot or somethin!”

Jaehyun feels immediate dread. He missed work? Wait, Mark said Johnny took his shift  _again._

He doesn’t even attempt to keep the panic out of his voice. “Mark, how long was I gone?”

Mark makes an exaggerated thinking face. “Hmm, well you skipped Monday and Tuesday...plus yesterday...so yea like, three days. Actually no, sorry man, four. You skipped Sunday too.”

If seeing Taeyong felt like a baseball bat hitting his head, this is like a chainsaw slicing his torso in half.

Three days of class. And four days of work. He can’t eat. He’s going to fail out of school. There’s no coming back from this.

The hallway starts spinning.

Mark's smile drops. “Hey man it’s chill, we covered all your shifts! Taeil’s not mad, he was actually really worried too! He gave Johnny your address and- whoa dude, you need to sit down.” Jaehyun faintly registers Mark grabbing his arms and leading him to the floor, where he begins to breathe heavily. The thought of Mark seeing him like this makes the feeling even worse.

Mark holds his phone in front of Jaehyun’s face. “Do you want to call Johnny? Or uh, shit, who else? What’s your mom’s number?”

Jaehyun shakes his head, gasping for breath. “No, I’m fine, please don’t,” he pants.

Mark runs a hand through his hair, extremely stressed. He nervously looks around for anyone else in the hallway that could help.

“I’m having a- panic attack- I get them a lot,” his voice breaks at the end. Mark makes a surprised face. “Ohhhh, I didn’t know what those looked like! What should I do? People usually say to like, take a deep breath or something right?” Jaehyun nods. He can see black spots in the corners of his vision. If he passes out in the hallway after sleeping for four days straight-

“Deep breaths man, watch I’ll do it too. Yeah, like that, and then, let it out!” Mark begins exaggeratedly, chest expanding. Jaehyun appreciates the effort.

Slowly, he lays down on the floor, rubbing his arms. He feels completely wide awake and bone tired at the same time. “If I sleep here,” he pants, “what will happen?”

Mark stops his gasping breaths. “What?! Oh nah dude, I can’t lift you. You gotta get inside before you do that, cmon-“ He pulls on Jaehyun’s arm, dragging his limp body through the door frame.

Jaehyun tries to crawl, but suddenly his body feels weightless. Mark flies forwards, tossing Jaehyun onto the bed like a rag doll.

Mark lands on the floor, jumping up immediately. “Did I just get hella strong?” He whispers in disbelief, holding his hands in front of his face.

Panic slowly seeps out of Jaehyun’s body, thick as honey. In a daze, he rolls away from Mark, glassy eyes staring at the bathroom.

Taeyong’s hand peeks out from the doorframe and flashes him a peace sign.

“Yo Jaehyun, why is there sugar all over your floor?”

Jaehyun falls asleep. Again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow people actually read thisssssss <333333 im pumped!!! let me know if there's anything specific you really wanna see happen lol


	4. It's Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated the rating to M, and new TW, suicidal thoughts and themes are discussed, as well as anxiety and panic attacks.

“Now back to you Ted, what can you tell us about the forecast ahead?”

 

“All rhymes aside Sandra, I can say with confidence that we’re currently experiencing some  _textbook_ Savannah weather conditions. It’s hot, it’s humid, and there’s a chance for thunderstorms every  _day_ this week! Yup, you heard me right there. The effects of Tropical Storm Alexa are just not letting up, we can expect wind gusts Tuesday reaching speeds of about 30 miles per hour, and in some places up to 50 miles per hour, this means stay indoors folks-“

 

CLICK!

 

“Aww Taeil c’mon! I was watching that!”

“Sorry Mark, I’m not paying you to watch the news. Maybe go watch the counter instead.”

“Dude, if we all get struck by lightning and die because no one knew there was a storm outside, we’re gonna sue  _you.”_ Mark jabs a finger at Taeil’s red hair and walks backwards to the front of the diner.

“It’ll be hard to sue me after you’re dead, but I appreciate your dedication to justice!” Taeil replies cheerfully.

Business has been slow all day, probably because of the imminent weather disaster. Jaehyun flips through Johnny’s music library, looking for something with a good bass drop.

He tries his best not to think about Taeyong. Or demons. Or Hell and Heaven existing as actual, physical realms that souls travel to when they die to remain for all of eternity. Or Taeyong.

The past week has been rough, to say the least. After failing two assignments and losing about $200 in missed shifts, Jaehyun’s been struggling to catch up. His mental health feels like a roller coaster; he can’t see the top, but he knows the drop is coming.

Taeyong has been a welcome distraction.

The knowledge of life beyond death has given Jaehyun more inner peace than he knows what to do with. His constant thoughts about being a failure in this life have been replaced with images of what waking up in the next will be like.

And aside from the very emotionally consuming existential epiphany Taeyong’s existence created, Taeyong himself never shuts up. Now that he doesn’t have to hide from Jaehyun, he’s around 24/7, and talking just as much. It must’ve been really hard not being able to talk to anyone for a year. Jaehyun can sort of relate.

His anxiety, which was the loudest part of his life, is constant background noise. He can still hear it but after a while he’s not actively thinking about it.

“This one,” Johnny points to a playlist titled _if I ran a strip club._

“These go hard, I’ll send this to you. Does the App Store on the iPod still work? You should get a messaging app. Or I can text you the song titles.”

Jaehyun shrugs. “I’ll try to download it later. Can I hook up to the free WiFi at your strip club?” He smiles innocently.

Johnny shakes his head sadly. “Sorry Jae you know the rules, paying customers and employees only.”

Jaehyun sighs dramatically, “Oh well, I guess my only option is to quit working here and get on the pole.”

“What?! Jaehyun,  _no way._ You’re a  _stripper_?” Mark yells across the room. The few customers inside look back to see who he’s talking to. Jaehyun’s ears turn red.

Johnny rolls his eyes, giving Jaehyun an apologetic glance. “Of course he is. Aren’t we all trying to make extra cash?” He yells back.

Mark shakes his head, making a disgusted expression. “Nah man, not me! I’m broke but I ain’t that broke!” He freezes, eyes wide. “Oh shit,” he mutters. “Jaehyun, I didn’t mean it like that! We have like, the same amount of money. I’m not tryna come for your living situation or anything.”

Now Johnny looks annoyed. Jaehyun internally winces, wishing he could crawl away from the situation. This is exactly the sort of thing he’s been trying to avoid since day one, exactly why he kept to himself and lied to everyone around him.

“But Mark, you could make a fortune, you’re so thick- mmf!” Haechan yells, muffled by Mark’s hand. He’s a new employee, and the youngest, but his age doesn’t deter him from teasing the rest of them. Jaehyun thinks it makes him more impervious to trouble. Taeil already has a soft spot for him.

Jaehyun feels Johnny lay a hand on his shoulder. He involuntarily flinches, and Johnny removes it, taking a passive position leaning against the counter. Shame fills Jaehyun.  _No, it’s okay, you can touch me. I’m so awkward._

“Mark didn’t mean to say that, he’s an idiot, which is no excuse. I’m sorry.”

Hot embarrassment tingles down Jaehyun’s arms. His ears are flushed enough that he feels heat coming off them. He shakes his head.

“No Johnny, I’m okay. Please don’t apologize.” He pleads weakly, trying not to sound like a whiney baby.

Johnny makes a dramatic waving motion. “Whoosh! The past is past, we’re moving on.” He smiles kindly.

How is Johnny so intuitive? He always knows what to say to make Jaehyun relax. He’s never felt so relaxed around a person before. Not since- yeah. He wishes he could be completely honest with Johnny for once, and tell him what’s happening in his life. Why he’s so messed up. After Mark witnessed his panic attack, he came very close to just spilling everything to the boys. But Taeyong’s added another layer to the mix. Telling them about his anxiety is one thing, but he’s afraid once he opens the floodgates, he’ll accidentally reveal his other big secret. He can’t handle the stress of that. Not yet, maybe not ever.

Taeyong seems adamant about keeping his existence just between the two of them. He trusts Jaehyun. Jaehyun knows better than to break trust with a demon. Even if they clean his bathroom and hum little songs and say things like “okey dokey!” He still hasn’t forgotten the mind numbing pain he experienced when Taeyong possessed his body. His ears still ring occasionally in phantom pain.

And those  _eyes._

Jaehyun hasn’t told Taeyong about the horrific things he saw in them.  _That’s_ a conversation he knows he’ll never be ready to have.

Thinking about it increases his heart beat. He pinches himself discretely, focusing on the pain. If Johnny notices, he doesn’t comment on it.

 

 

Taeil lets them go early, citing his lack of desire to be “sued by ghosts if they die in the storm.” Mark and Haechan congratulated him on gaining some intelligence. The sky flashes halfway through Jaehyun’s walk home, thunder booming. The rain hasn’t started yet, but even if it does, this time Jaehyun has his umbrella. Taeyong keeps placing it by the door for him.

The wind is serious. Twice a large gust makes him stumble over. There’s not a single other person out walking. The air is so humid the water feels like it’s misting his skin.

He gets home and sprints upstairs. Room six on thesixth floor.

In building number six.

Jaehyun never even noticed. 666. Fuck. Well there’s no way that’s a coincidence. He wonders if Taeyong already knows.

He locks the door behind him. The apartment is oddly quiet. “Taeyong?”

Using the bathroom in his apartment has become incredibly awkward. He knows Taeyong clocks out mentally whenever he does it but- it’s still embarrassing.

He opens the bathroom door. Taeyong is laying in the bathtub, eyes closed, Jaehyun’s iPod in his hand. The volume is turned up loud enough that Jaehyun can hear it.

_Tyga, huh? The lyrics seem too...dirty for him to like._

Then again he’s a demon. Probably seen some nasty shit.

Thunder booms, rattling the walls. Jaehyun flinches. Taeyong doesn’t even notice, too absorbed in the music.

Jaehyun’s replaced the lightbulbs, and he has his trusty lamp on the floor, but if the power goes out-

He’s not sure how he functions sometimes, being afraid of basically everything. At this point he needs some sort of help to get over these feelings but the money just isn’t there for it.

Rubbing his arms and crying aren’t very effective coping mechanisms but they’re all he has. And music, but, he doesn’t want to disturb Taeyong. Who knows the last time Taeyong has gotten to listen to music.

He reads to distract himself. He’s tried in the past to read some self help type books, or psychology, but he finds it more harmful than helpful when he’s actively trying not to lose control. He likes teen romance novels. They’re simple and calming.

He’s completely absorbed in the story when the power goes out.

_No no no no, please no._

 

The room is completely dark, just like-

Stop. Stop thinking about it.

The bathroom door opens. “Jaehyun, are you back- oh hey! The power went out, so spooky!”

No response.

“Ahh are you asleep?” He lowers his volume. “Sorry I took your iPod, usually I put it back before you-“ He winces. “Okay yes, I take it sometimes. It’s so amazing! I’ve been here a while but no one else living here has had one! It’s like a magic music box that plays whatever you want!” He whispers excitedly.

 

“... _T-taeyong...”_ Jaehyun whimpers.

 

Taeyong jumps up. “What happened, what’s wrong, I can’t see your face, I thought you were-“

Jaehyun’s trembling too hard to reply. He faintly can hear Taeyong mumbling frantically to himself.

“Jaehyun are you hurt, or is this a panic attack? Please Jae, you have to look at me.” He soothes. Jaehyun feels his body slowly turn over. It almost feels like Taeyong’s manipulating him again, but he doesn’t care. Taeyong gapes when he sees his face. His eyes are glassy, tears running down his cheeks. His teeth are clenched and he can’t breathe. He’s curled into himself, trying to bury his face into his knees and arms. “Jae I can’t- I can’t get to you. What do you want, do you want me to move you over to me?”

Jaehyun can’t reply, petrified.

“Shh, it’s okay. It’s alright. I’m here. Nothing’s going to get you. Not even me, ha,” He laughs weakly. “Jae I wasn’t going to tell you about this until I was more sure but- I know what’s keeping me in here. There’s a Heptagram in your vent. Are you listening baby?”

_Baby._

Jaehyun whimpers, nodding as much as he can.

“Good, you’re doing so well.” He soothes. His voice is smooth as syrup. “The Heptagram is trapping me here. I think the power is being magnified. Did you know we’re on the sixth floor of the sixth building in your complex? And we’re in room six! Jae, I think the numerology is affecting the strength of the Heptagram. Usually I’d be able to find it quickly, but I never even noticed it.”

Jaehyun nods weakly, panting. “ _I_ -“ he sobs. “I realized...today-“ his voice breaks. “Shhh,” Taeyong whispers. It’s like a lullaby. The sound of the thunder sounds farther and farther away. “Good, I’m glad you noticed. You’re so smart, Jae. Unfortunately, I can’t touch the Heptagram. I’m not strong enough. Jae, if you can come in here and try to break it for me...I’ll be able to help you.”

Yes, Jaehyun thinks, of course, anything for-

Jaehyun’s mind stutters.

Something about this feels...

If Taeyong just wanted to try and help him, why not lift his body and bring him over? Or comfort him once he gets to the bathroom? Why does he have to break the seal?

Another rush of fear shoots through him.

“ _Can’t...trust_ _you,_ _”_ He whispers.

Taeyong stills. Through the darkness, Jaehyun can feel him staring at him.

“Can’t trust me?” Taeyong repeats softly. “Why can’t you trust me?” Jaehyun shakes his head, whimpering. “I don’t-“ another rattle of thunder. “You’re not- making sense-“

Taeyong cocks his head. Jaehyun can  _feel_ him do it.

“Jaehyun, I’ve never hurt you before. Why- listen, all I want to do is help you. I told you before, seeing you like this is- it’s painful for me. You’re so sweet, and kind, and beautiful Jae, you’re  _beautiful_. I’m trying to help you. What do you want me to do to make you feel better?”

He has to say it. He knows he’s going to regret it.

“ _Leave..._ _p_ _-please...”_ Jaehyun whispers.

He feels Taeyong still. The tension in the air feels more electric than the strikes of lightning out the window. A flash illuminates the room. Jaehyun bites back a scream. Taeyong’s eyes are black, staring straight into his soul. Taeyong shrugs. “Fine. If that’s what you want.” He vanishes. The sound of thunder immediately gets louder.

Jaehyun sobs.

 

 

\-----

 

 

They don’t talk about it.

Jaehyun refuses to even step foot in the apartment. He’s been sleeping in the library. When he woke up after that night he packed a bag of clothes and left.

 He’s a coward.

 He showers in the sink at work, taking extra long bathroom breaks. No one notices.

 The few times he’s gone back to check, Taeyong has completely vanished, refusing to let him know what he’s doing or, more concerning, where he’s looking. For all he knows, those cold black eyes could be staring at him-

 He feels nauseous.

 If he barely slept before, now he’s constantly on the verge of passing out. Johnny has definitely noticed that part. He questions Jaehyun every time he sees him, asking if he’s eating enough, or working too hard.

 The lies are starting to drive him crazy.

 Doors that have been shut in his mind for a long time are starting to creep open. They lead to dark thoughts. Things he never allows him self to think about.

 Things like maybe he’d be better off-

 “Jaehyun? Can you tell the cook the dish for table thirteen can’t have any peanuts?” Haechan leans into the back.

 Jaehyun nods. He tells the cook. He returns to his station.

 Once when he was around thirteen years old, the boys in the neighborhood got their hands on some weed. They offered Jaehyun a hit of the joint. He took about two hits and died coughing, but had just enough to feel a floaty, out of reality sensation. This is how he feels now, going through the motions each day.

 He knows he has to return home at some point, but he can’t get over the feeling that Taeyong is tricking him. Jaehyun is so, so naive. Demons are notorious throughout history for their deception and charisma. He’d been blinded by Taeyong’s kindness and softly spoken words. Jaehyun wonders if exorcists are real. Clearly the person who put the- Hectagram?- in his vent knew what they were doing. If he could find that person, maybe they’d be able to send Taeyong back to hell before he did something sadistic to Jaehyun. Like steal his soul.

 “Earth to Jaehyun! What’s good bro? Me and Johnny are going out after work, you tryna come?” Mark smiles, oblivious to Jaehyun’s inner turmoil.

 Jaehyun thinks about it. It’s either go with his friends or go straight back to the library. He’s in no mood to go out but he honestly doesn’t feel anything either way.

Plus now that Mark and Johnny know his financial situation, he won’t have to explain why he’s not buying any drinks.

 He nods. “Actually, I would like that. If you don’t mind me coming.”

 Mark gasps. “Forreal!? Oh my god,  _yes,_ Johnny he’s gonna come with us!”

 Johnny leans back into the kitchen, a concerned smile on his face. “That’s great! Mark, can you go seat those people?”

 “Can Haechan do his job, like seriously,” Mark grumbles, going to the front.

 Johnny steps into the back. “You know, if you’re tired, you don’t have to come with us. I’m not going to pry but I’ve got to be honest, I’m really concerned about you. No offense Jae but you look terrible.”

 Jaehyun stares at the floor. “I-“ He doesn’t trust his voice not to crack. He shakes his head. Johnny waits patiently.

 “I- I really want to go. I can’t tell you what’s happening but I think this would be good, for me. To forget about things for a little while.” He says softly.

 Johnny looks at him sympathetically. “Is there anything I can do to help you? Seriously, anything. Letting you stay the night at my place or something.”

Jaehyun’s eyes jump up to look at him, shocked.

 "How did you-“

 “I was cramming for an exam at the library, saw you sleeping on a table. Did you get evicted. Because Jaehyun-“

 Jaehyun buries his face in his hands, taking deep breaths. He frantically shakes his head. “No I...I didn’t get evicted.” He whispers.

 Johnny holds his hands up in defeat. “I won’t press, I’m sorry. You can stay at my place if you need to, that’s all I’m gonna say. I know you don’t want to impose but you wouldn’t be. It’ll be like a sleepover,” he says calmly. Jaehyun slumps onto the table, sighing.

 “...Just tonight.” He finally mutters.

 Johnny nods. “Okay, just tonight. And you don’t have to go out. We’ll stay home and make dinner. Mark and Haechan can go, they’ll be fine.”

 Haechan busts through the door. “You’re making me go with Mark  _alone?_ Johnny please don’t make me do that,” he pleads.

 Mark yells something from the front, but they can’t make it out. Jaehyun’s ears flush. So everyone was eavesdropping? Great. 

Johnny rolls his eyes. “No ones making you do anything. If you want to do something else be my guest.”

 “Fine, whatever, I’ll go,” Haechan sighs dramatically, leaving the room.

 Johnny turns to Jaehyun. “Sorry about-“

 “Don’t apologize. Please. Just stop apologizing.” Jaehyun snaps.

 Johnny regards him for a moment. “....Are you gonna be okay until after work?” A nod. “Good. If you feel like you have to leave-“

 “Johnny-“

 “Drake’s best song, 3 2 1 go!”

 Jaehyun peeks up at him in confusion, but a slow warm feeling begins in his chest next to his anxiety. “...Passionfruit,” his voice cracks.

 “Ehhh! Wrong! Marvin’s Room.”

 Jaehyun smiles weakly. “You would say that.”

 “It’s not my opinion, it’s a fact.  _I’m just sayin, you could do better,”_ he sings offkey. Jaehyun gives a weak laugh. He gets up off the counter.

 “ _Tell me have you heard that lately?”_ He quietly sings back.

 Johnny smiles. “You can sing! What!”

 Jaehyun shakes his head “Don’t even say that, I can’t.”

 He actually used to love to sing. He did it in school choir, and for talent shows. His mom-

 “Okay fine, you’re terrible at singing. And since you hate people complimenting you so much, I'll never do it again.” Johnny teases, laughing.

 “Much better, thank you,” Jaehyun smiles.

 “The dimples! It’s been so long, I was worried you lost them.”

—————

 Johnny’s apartment is big. And nice. And clean. He even has a balcony. Jaehyun takes off his sneakers  _outside_ the door.

 “Oh my god, Jaehyun give me those.” Johnny laughs incredulously. He puts the shoes inside on the door mat.

 He has two roommates, Ten and Kun. They both speak Mandarin. Johnny claims he understands enough to know when they’re making fun of him, which is a lot. Kun is at a night class, but Ten-

 “Johnny has friends beside Fart Lee!” He squeals gleefully. “How much is he paying you to hang out with him?”

 Jaehyun cracks an awkward smile. “Not nearly enough.”

 “Ooh~ I  _like you,”_ Ten beams. “You should be my friend instead. I’ll pay double. What’s your name?”

  _Johnny is lucky to have so many people that care about him._ “Jaehyun.”

 “So  _you’re_ Jaehyun! Johnny said you were such a sweetheart. I can tell you’re a little spicier than he let on,” Ten grins.

 “I never said he was a sweetheart, I just said he’s a nice guy. We all know there’s more to Jaehyun than he lets on,” Johnny shoots him a wink.

 Getting a little too close to home. Jaehyun smiles and nods, sweating.

 They end up playing video games and eating chicken stir fry on the couch. Jaehyun is warm and relaxed, eyes barely able to stay open. He feels calm and lucid, a far cry from the past few days. Johnny doesn’t mention his obvious exhaustion. He switches the game to Life Is Strange and keeps it playing while Jaehyun fades in and out of consciousness. He hears Johnny and Ten chatting quietly in the background.

 It’s the best night Jaehyun’s had in years. He’s been alone for so long, falling asleep with other people in the room is extremely comforting. The only other person that’s made him feel this way is-

 Taeyong. Fuck. A heaviness settles in his stomach. He’s still terrified, obviously, but he knows he can’t run forever. Eventually, he has to face him.

 And honestly, Jaehyun thinks, he hasn’t been very fair. Taeyong is fully capable of taking over his body and destroying his soul. He hasn’t done it. Taeyong has been trapped in the same moldy disgusting bathroom for a whole year. Anyone would be a little desperate to get out. He saw his opportunity and tried to take it. Jaehyun can’t blame him for that.

  _I’ll let him go_ he decides, barely awake. I’ll let him go and I’ll help him get back to hell.

 And then-

 And then he’ll get rid of the guilty feelings and fear, and be able to sleep in the apartment that he’s paying for. 

He glances up at Johnny, who appears extremely focused on the plot of the game, but looks down at Jaehyun and smiles softly.

 “Go to sleep. I’ll wake you up in the morning.” Johnny whispers.

 ———-

  _“Sweetheart listen, we know you’re scared, but you have to cooperate with us. We’re trying to help your Mommy. If we figure out what happened to her, she’ll be able to sleep peacefully. Don’t you what her to feel happiness?”_

_“No, I don’t want her to die. I- I want her to wake up. Can you save her? Please?”_

_“I’m sorry but there isn’t anything we can do. Your Mommy-“_

_“Stop it! Stop saying that! You can save her! Go save her!”_

_“Jaehyun, please calm down-“_

_Sunlight through the trees. Birds chirping. Hair blowing in a soft wind._

_“Jaehyun? You’re supposed to be at school.”_

_“Grandma, I hate it there. I hate what we do. It doesn’t make any sense, and it’s all made up. I want to stay home, with you.”_

_“_... _I want you to feel happy. If you don’t like school, you can stay home. Let’s go see if the market has any oranges left, okay?”_

_Oranges. The sweet, sticky juice. Grandma’s house. Grandma. Grandma’s glasses. Her eyes. Summer. The orange juice. Doyoung._

_“You’re soooooo sloooooow.”_

_“Jaehyun, let’s kiss girls this year.”_

_“You’re a good singer. I think you’re good. And- and adults don’t really know, right? They’re just- they’re jealous because, they wish they got to sing too. But they’re too old now.”_

_“Jaehyun...I want to practice kissing. So when I do kiss a girl I’m already good. Do you want-“_

_“-a really good singer. Seriously. You should try out for the talent show, I think you’d win!”_

_“-it won’t be weird, it’s just a kiss. Girls practice with girls too. It’s so when they kiss guys they already know what to do-“_

_“-we can be a duet, if you want. Maybe in sixth grade we can keep singing, too, in middle school, I’d like that-“_

“- _come over to my house, my parents are never home. We can practice there.”_

_Doyoung’s house. Doyoung’s bedroom. The poster on the wall. His bedspread. The power lines in the window. Doyoung’s eyes. His lips. His-_

 

 

Jaehyun bolts upright, panting. Johnny’s couch. He’s on Johnny’s couch.

 He looks at the cable box. 5:31 am. Too early. Johnny is asleep on the floor, Ten isn’t in the room.

 He falls back against the couch, warmth and exhaustion immediately wrapping their arms around him, despite the pulse of fear and panic. Every shadow in the room looks threatening.

 He jumps at a noise down the hall. Flashbacks of exploding lightbulbs flood his mind. Someone is awake in the kitchen, heating something in the microwave. Jaehyun’s eyes can barely stay open, but he knows by the speed of his racing heartbeat that he won’t be able to go back to sleep, no matter how much he needs it. Slowly he gets up, trying not to disturb Johnny, who’s so knocked out he’s drooling on the carpet.

 “Johnny, you’re up early. Do you want some oatmeal- whoa!” The man exclaims. Jaehyun assumes it’s Kun.

 He shakes his head, feeling waves of panic tingling down his arms. “I’m his friend Jaehyun, I spent the night.”

 Kun nods. “Ahh okay. I see. I’m Kun,”

 _Nice_ “I’m glad Johnny has friends that wake up before twelve. Do you want breakfast? We have oatmeal and toast, and maybe some eggs.”

 Jaehyun shakes his head. “Thanks but I’m okay. Is he really going to sleep until twelve?” To be fair he’d be doing the same if he hadn’t been woken up by his own mind. What a traitor.

 Kun nods. “Oh yeah, definitely. Feel free to do whatever you want until he does. He’s actually talked about you before! You like music, right?”

 Jaehyun cannot believe Johnny has mentioned him to both of his roommates, and not only that, described his interests to them. He nods. “Yeah, I do. Should I blast some to wake him up?”  _What am I even saying, holy shit._

Kun smiles awkwardly. “Probably not but, music is cool. Me and Ten are music majors actually. We’re trying to become singers.” He smiles genuinely and scratches his head.

 Jaehyun feels the sting of envy. And for what? He could be a music major if he wanted to. It’s not his fault he’s convinced himself he has to be an Engineering major in order to make a living. Not his fault at all.

 Out of nowhere, he thinks of Taeyong. Whenever he’s reminded of the mundane and awful parts of life now, he thinks of Taeyong, and what he represents. Evil, sure, but-

 Fantasy. Escape. Possibilities.

 He thinks of his apartment. He thinks of his bathroom. He thinks of Taeyong’s eyes, black and soulless and horrific, but-

 He thinks about life in general. And what it’s been like for him. Soulless and horrific at worst, lonely at best. So, so lonely. If Taeyong eats his soul and tortures him for eternity, he’ll still be existing with someone else. Jaehyun thinks back to Taeyong’s desperation for freedom. If he releases him, he’ll let Jaehyun go. He’s positive. He’ll let him go, and Jaehyun will go to Heaven, and Jaehyun will see his Mom, and his Grandma, and Doyoung.

 He jolts when he realizes Kun is staring at him. “Singers, that’s really cool, whoa. I really want to hear you guys sometime.” Which isn’t a lie, he genuinely does.

 Kun looks extremely concerned, but clearly possesses Johnny’s intuition, because he doesn’t comment on the fact that Jaehyun zoned out for about a minute. “We’d love to have you! Just let us know when you want to stop by the studio. I’ll give you a personal tour.”

 Jaehyun nods. “I will. Thank you.” He’s not sure where this burst of confidence is coming from. “Can I have some- oatmeal?”

 Kun hands him a bowl. “There’s fruit in the fridge, go wild. I’m gonna go to my room and get dressed, holler if you need anything.” He smiles and exits into the hallway.

 Jaehyun hasn’t had fresh fruit in fucking forever. He loads up on blueberries and raspberries, and adds anything else that looks edible. Peanut butter. Chocolate syrup. Potato chips. A raw egg.

 He eats the whole thing in thirty seconds. The fear from his dreams is long gone, replaced with a confidence and energy he hasn’t felt in- ever, maybe?

 He stumbles back into the living room, collapses on the couch, and glances at the cable box.

 

6:00 am.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is there anything you love? is there anything you hate? is there anything you have neutral feelings towards??? let me know! i am 100% open to all critique and ill never get mad at what you have to say, and i might even incorporate your ideas, so dont be afraid to say something


	5. If I Never Knew You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we back! Rated M for anxiety/panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, gore, parental death (this makes me sound so morbid)

 

 

Jaehyun’s front door creaks. It clicks shut as he closes it, slow. He drops his duffle bag on the ground.

The bathroom door is shut.

The room is dusty and slightly smells. He crosses it and opens the window. Humid air blows in, a scent of rain tinged in the heat. Another storm. Fantastic.

The bathroom door is shut.

He sits on the mattress and pulls out his iPod. A soft beat flows through the room.

He wipes the sweat off his forehead. It’s unbearably hot, the breeze blowing in feels like a hair dryer. Jaehyun raises his arms and rubs a finger down his wrist. The skin glows blue. He’s so pale.

The bathroom door is shut.

He toes off his shoes and socks, sliding bare feet up till his knees are bent. Sweat pastes his shirt to his back. It comes off too. He grazes his fingers up and down his stomach, the touch raises goosebumps.

The bathroom doorknob turns, painfully slow.

Jaehyun forces himself to take deep breaths.

The door opens a crack.

He curls his toes into the sheets.

A hand peeks around the corner, nails tap against wood.

Jaehyun’s own hands shake uncontrollably.

The door glides open.

 

Taeyong looks like someone starved him for weeks. His eyes are bloodshot, circles underneath impossibly dark smudges. The thin black shirt he wears swallows his body. Collarbones jut out of the collar, skeletal, a pale sheet of skin covering them.

“I thought you left,” He whispers.

Jaehyun turns onto his side with wide eyes and tiny pupils. His body trembles. “I had to leave. You were scaring me.” Every word cracks.

Taeyong sinks down to sit on the tile, still gripping the door. “I though you left me  _for good._ ” Jaehyun can barely look him in the eyes. The green one is sickly and shiny, the brown one is so dark he can’t see the pupil.

“You look...”

The demon drops his head against the door with a soft bang. “You  _scared_ me _._  I was so stressed. The times you came back and left-“

“I scared  _you?_ You didn’t say anything to me the other times I came back.” Jaehyun locks his eyes on Taeyong’s. It’s a statement, not a question.

Taeyong looks away. “I didn’t want to frighten you again.”

Heat surges through Jaehyun’s chest. Frighten him again. Like Taeyong cares whether or not Jaehyun is  _frightened._ Visions of the black eyes flash in Jaehyun’s mind.  _Fuck this, I am not letting it go._

“You’re a liar,” he hisses.

Taeyong pauses. He nods sadly. “...I do lie, sometimes. I don’t know what else to tell you.”

“Are you lying to me right now? Like when you tried to get free by  _seducing_ me?”

Taeyong whispers, ”People lie all the time.”

Jaehyun flips over, facing the opposite wall. He digs his fingers into the pillow and clenches till his fist tremors. “Why do you really want me to let you go? So you can possess me?”

“I-“

“I would’ve helped you if you didn’t take advantage of me,” Jaehyun snaps. “I was really scared, I trusted you and- and-“

Taeyong scratches his nails down the door. “If I was going to possess you I would’ve done it already. Can’t you see-“

Jaehyun lunges across the bed. “That’s not how trust  _WORKS_!” he screams. “You can’t say I should trust you because you haven’t done terrible things to me, even though you  _could_. That’s not trust. You don’t really care about me. That’s manipulation,  _Taeyong.”_ He seethes into Taeyong’s face. The other man stares back at him in a mixture of sadness and shame.

“You don’t want me here and I don’t want to be here,” Taeyong pleads curtly, quietly dropping his head to stare at the floor.

“Is that a lie?”

“Which part?”

“That you don’t want to be here.”

Taeyong shrugs his shoulders. “It’s the truth,” He whispers. Jaehyun runs a hand through his hair, tugging in frustration. Taeyong picks at his fingernails.

“How do I destroy the trap?” Jaehyun’s entire body is shaking from adrenaline. He tells himself he won’t miss this once it’s gone. The sweet, nerdy Taeyong that cleans broken glass for fun, that gives everything nicknames, that makes up little songs...he seems like a projection of Jaehyun’s fantasies. That Taeyong never really existed.

“It’s an old seal but the paints tough. Scratch through it with a knife.” Taeyong rips a hangnail off, blood pooling in a drop on his fingertip. Jaehyun wants to scream at him.  _Don’t you dare let that stain the floor, whenever I look at it, I’ll think of you._

Like he won’t already think of Taeyong every moment he wakes up. Every time he dreams.

He crosses to the kitchen and violently rips open the drawer. He owns one knife, and it’s sharp.

Jaehyun turns to the bathroom, and his confidence slightly wavers. He stops just before the doorframe. He knows Taeyong’s power extends beyond the bathroom, but- he doesn’t know what will happen when crosses into his territory. Taeyong seems to notice his apprehension, because he sits in the far corner of the bathtub, hands raised in surrender.

“How far in the vent is it?”

“Pretty far...I’m not sure if you’ll be able to fit.”

Jaehyun takes a single step into the bathroom. The tile is freezing on his bare foot. He observes the vent. He flashes back to weeks ago, when he’d thought someone had broke in and was hiding inside. He’d been so naive.

At this point, someone breaking in would be boring compared to what had actually been hiding in the bathroom.

Jaehyun uses the knife to unscrew the vent grate. He peers inside. It’s actually much bigger than he thought. Most adult men couldn’t fit, but luckily Jaehyun’s been missing some meals. He’s slender enough.

A familiar spike of anxiety trickles into his stomach. Crawling into a tight space, being trapped inside by Taeyong-

He looks at him. “If you trap me in there I’ll never, ever forgive you. I’ll hate you forever.” A weak threat, but he has nothing else.

Taeyong lifts a hand. Jaehyun flinches, closes his eyes.  _Fuck. I shouldn’t have said that. Fuck, fuck, fuck-_ the anxiety boils over, coating his body.

Taeyong rests the hand on Jaehyun’s head. “I’ve always liked your hair. Brown is such a beautiful color.” He runs his fingers through the short strands. “You can’t always trust me, I’m sorry. But I’m not manipulating you right now. And I’ll never hurt you on purpose. I can promise you that.” There is a serious edge to Taeyong’s voice that Jaehyun has never heard before. Like he’s trying to convince a jury that he’s innocent without being hysterical.

Jaehyun subconsciously leans into the touch. No demon magic, just a craving for human comfort. Perhaps emotions and magic are not so different after all. Perhaps humans do lie just as often as Taeyong does. Perhaps they’re just as misleading and manipulative. 

Perhaps him and Taeyong are not so different.

Jaehyun takes a deep breath and opens his eyes. Taeyong looks completely rejuvenated. His eyes shine clearly, redness gone. His pale skin is like marble, a pink tinge on his lips and cheeks. He even looks less skinny, with lean muscle defining his arms and legs.

Jaehyun whines. “Draining my life force? Already broke your promise.”

Taeyong sadly smiles. “Being around you naturally gives this form more energy. I’m not taking anything away from you.”

Jaehyun pauses. “Does that only happen with me?“

“All humans, but your energy is especially strong. When you left I thought I actually-“ he shakes his head. “Do you want to go in the vent now?”

Jaehyun nods, anxiety merely a thrum in the background. It whispers  _no, don’t._

He pulls his shirt on and drops to his knees. “I don’t have a flashlight.”

Taeyong frowns. “...Could I partially possess you? Just to give you my vision.”

Jaehyun flies back. “No no no, no.” He stammers. He knew it. This is all a trick.

“I swear it’s just so you can see. I can wait for you to get a flashlight from a store but-“ thunder booms outside, cutting him off. “It’s about to storm.” Taeyong tilts his head.

Jaehyun runs his hands through his hair. His heart races. “Fine, okay. Fine. Whatever.” He sits down on the floor. “Possess me.”

Taeyong narrows his eyes. “You’re giving me permission to enter?” He clarifies.

Jaehyun nods. “Yes”.

Taeyong’s eyes turn black. Jaehyun’s memory from his childhood replays in his mind. Doyoung running further, and farther, and further down the sidewalk. He prepares himself for the mind numbing pain, jerking limbs.

A smooth sensation coats him, similar to a cool breeze running across his skin. His breath comes out in a cloud of air.

He suddenly feels tired. So tired. His vision blurs. He can feel himself falling.

Back, and back, down, down, sinking lower and lower and-

 

“Jaehyun?” It’s his own voice.

He blinks away the hazy spots in his vision. He’s still in his body. But it feels...brighter. His limbs move with a quickness he’s not used to. He tries to take a step and stumbles forward.

“Whoa there,” he hears his voice chuckle.

“I feel  _weird_ ,” he replies to Taeyong, but it sounds like he’s talking to himself.

“Some people I’ve possessed said it’s similar to an acid trip. You ever tried LSD?”

Jaehyun whines in disbelief. “What do you think?” he slurs.

Taeyong hums. “I thought not. Does it feel too strange? Do you want me to leave?” Jaehyun shakes his head. He wonders how insane this would look to another person.

“Let’s just- do it-“ he stumbles forward, knees dropping with a loud bang. He looks into the vent and gasps. He can see all the way to the end. Even around the corners of the walls.

At the very end of the tunnel is the Heptagram. With his new vision, it’s glowing. He can physically  _feel_ the energy emitting off it.

“Okay, just crawl to the end and slash it.”

Taeyong instructs, moving Jaehyun’s arm and picking up the knife. Panic explodes in his mind. It feels  _terrible,_ his body moving on it’s own, out of his control.

“Don’t- don’t do that,” He stammers. “Don’t move me.”

Taeyong relents, pausing Jaehyun’s arm in the air. “I won’t, promise. Whenever you’re ready.”

Jaehyun hardens his gaze into the tunnel. Slowly, he climbs inside. It’s painfully claustrophobic. He army crawls himself through. Taeyong says nothing.

He wriggles his body through the narrow passage in silence. It’s horrifying. It takes every ounce of the little self control he has no to close his eyes and panic. Finally, he reaches the end. The Heptagram is incredibly detailed, but messily drawn in thick black ink.

“Here? Scratch this?”

Taeyong hums. “Yes, right there. Scratch through that.” His voice shakes in anticipation. Jaehyun hates hearing it come from his mouth.

He takes a deep breath. This could be the end of his life. Not the best way to die, not the worst either. An image of Johnny suddenly crosses his mind. It conjures up a deep sadness. Johnny, Mark, and Haechan, and Taeil. The people he cares about. The people that he loves. He thinks of all the music that he hasn’t listened to. The places he’s never been. The moments he’ll never experience again. Even the storm, raging outside right now. The sound of the drops pounding against the window. Lightning striking the room. The wind howling against the walls. Will he be able to hear thunder, after death? Will he be able to feel the rain on his skin, cold and uncomfortable?

He thinks about his mom. He thinks about Doyoung.

They’ll be disappointed to see him again so soon.

Will Heaven even still accept him?

Jaehyun holds back his tears.  _Johnny, I’m so so sorry. Please forgive me, someday._

“Why are you crying?” He asks himself.

“I don’t want to die,” he whispers.

Taeyong winces. “I’m not going to kill you. Just do it Jae. Please,” his urgency is like a physical force pushing Jaehyun forward.

Jaehyun maneuvers his arm up from where it’s pressed between his stomach and the wall. He takes the knife and touches the tip to the sigil. He drags down across the line, breaking the ink apart.

Nothing happens.

He opens his eyes. “Taeyong?”

Suddenly, his body feels 20 times heavier. He drops his head down with a thud. The fog in his mind clears, sounds of the storm outside amplify.

The vent becomes pitch black.

“Fuck,  _fuck, oh shit,_ ” panic drenches him. His breath quickens. He can’t see. He’s stuck in the vent and he can’t see-

“Jaehyun?”

It’s Taeyong.

Holy shit.

“Taeyong?” He whimpers, and doesn’t this feel familiar? Another pathetic moment, another time Taeyong sees him at his lowest.

But Taeyong is still here. He hasn’t left.

“What do you want me to do?” Taeyong’s voice echos from the end of the tunnel.

“ _Help,”_ Jaehyun whispers.

His body begins to slide backwards. He sighs in relief, closing his eyes. Taeyong maneuvers him out of the vent, floating him down gently onto the bathroom tile.

Jaehyun opens his eyes and looks up.

Taeyong’s  _glowing._ The energy around him crackles with electricity, his hair floats around him. He looks powerful, and strong. Terrifying.

Jaehyun feels the crash after possession hit him like a truck. Completely drained. He wills himself to sit up.

“Did it work?”

Taeyong nods. “It did work. I can leave. Do you want me to go?”

“Yeah,” Jaehyun whispers.

_No,_ The loneliness in his heart screams out.

He must look devastated. Taeyong sits down next to him. He runs a finger down Jaehyun’s cheekbone, around his ear. Traces the earlobe. Smooths fingers through his hair.

“Do I still frighten you? Even after...all of that?”

It’s such a sincere question. Jaehyun can tell. He can’t lie to Taeyong, not in this moment. He can’t lie to himself, either.

“No,” an even softer whisper.

Taeyong lays down on the floor next to him. “I have no excuse for why I’ve manipulated you. I wanted to be free so badly. Using you was too easy, too typical. I thought I wouldn’t care how I felt afterwards. I don’t think about human’s feelings. But I’ve realized that I care about yours.”

Jaehyun sits up, searching Taeyong’s face, trying to figure out what he’s trying to say.

“How did you feel when I left?” He finally asks.

“....I was very sad. I’ve never felt that way before. It shocked me,” Taeyong turns to look Jaehyun in the eye. “Do you remember when I broke all your lightbulbs?”

“I can’t forget that. You scared the shit out of me,” Jaehyun frowns, looking away.

Taeyong’s mouth curls into an almost smile. “What I told you then, about how I hated seeing you upset- I meant it. I can be an awful liar sometimes, but I wasn’t lying to you. It was same sadness that I felt when you left the apartment. You-“ he pauses, resting his hand on Jaehyun’s cheek. “...you’re a sweet, lovely person. You don’t deserve the pain that you go through.”

“Whatever happened in your past that makes you react to life this way, it doesn’t matter to me. I’ve seen things so terrible, so horrible and awful, you wouldn’t even understand how they could be real. The way your past affected you is what makes me feel sad. You’re so fragile. And I feel like you haven’t always been this way.”

Jaehyun is stunned into silence. His eyes grow wet.

He can’t handle this emotional whiplash. He’s terrified of Taeyong, angry, then awestruck. Endeared, even attracted to him. Then terrified, horrified. It’s Hatred. Fury. Longing.

“Don’t you want to take my soul?” He chokes out.

Taeyong smiles fondly. “I knew you’d figure out I was lying about that.” He plays with the curls in Jaehyun’s hair. “I don’t want to take it. I want to see you enjoy this life, even if it’s hard right now. I think I’m invested in your future, for some reason. You have such a strange affect on me Jaehyun, do you know that?”

Jaehyun can’t stop his tears now. The wind outside roars, rain still pelting against glass.

Taeyong’s eyes widen. “Why are you crying?” he brushes the tears away with his thumbs.

He has to say it. “The week I left I- I slept in the library and-“ his voice cracks. “And I had no one, and Johnny is the only person that cared about me, and-“ he’s too overwhelmed to speak, quietly crying. “I thought-“ he looks up and away, wiping his own tears. “I thought about how I wanted to-“ his voice breaks in a sob. He buries his face in his hands. If he says it out loud, it will be real. It won’t be a fleeting thought he can control. A brief solution he can dismiss.

Taeyong puts a hand on Jaehyun’s arm, rubbing up and down slowly. “You don’t have to tell me if it’s too hard. It’s not surprising you felt that way. And it’s not your fault. At all.”

“I was so-  _I was so scared,”_ Jaehyun cries, curling into himself.

This time, Taeyong doesn’t rub his arm. He wraps himself around Jaehyun’s body and pulls him close with ease, a strong hand cupping the back of Jaehyun’s head. Taeyong hugs him tightly to his chest, tucking Jaehyun’s head under his chin. Jaehyun can’t remember the last time someone held him like this. His crying quiets as he blinks in shock, tears still running down his face and wetting Taeyong’s neck.

“I know it’s scary, trust me. I know.” Taeyong rubs Jaehyun’s back with his other hand. The rain outside slows, a quiet spattering of drops on the glass. Wind still howls to get inside, creaks the walls, but it feels safe in the apartment. Taeyong is slightly smaller than Jaehyun, but he feels so much stronger. His thin limbs are surprisingly muscular, the warmth from them covering his body. The cool tile of the floor balances the heat of their bodies.

He feels the vibration of Taeyong’s chest as he speaks in a low whisper.

“I wish I could have done this for you a while ago. Instead of being a dummy and scaring you away. Or breaking your lightbulbs.”

Jaehyun sighs wetly. “They mean the same thing, to me. This and the lightbulbs. I wouldn’t change anything.” He closes his eyes, nudging Taeyong’s chest with his head.

He feels Taeyong’s  _heartbeat._ His magically constructed human body has its own heartbeat. It’s beating fast.

“But this is- better.” Jaehyun stutters.

Taeyong smiles down at him. “I’m glad you feel that way.”

Jaehyun hums. “I’m really sleepy.” Taeyong nods. “Can you wake me up? I can’t sleep for four days again,” he mumbles drowsily. “Just a nap, okay?”

“Are you sure you want to sleep here? On the floor?” Taeyong asks gently.

Jaehyun realizes what Taeyong is implying.

He tries to sit up. Taeyong helps him stand, probably using his weightless magic powers.

They exit the bathroom, together.

 

Taeyong lets out a small noise. It sounds like awe. Jaehyun remembers Taeyong has been trapped inside one room for a  _year._  He just realized what his freedom really means. He’s going to vanish at any second, leaving Jaehyun alone to relive his memories day after day.

But Taeyong doesn’t leave. He guides Jaehyun down to the bed, and sits down next to him. “This feels _incredible._  Wow. So soft.”

Jaehyun wants to smile, but he’s so tired and emotional it’s a watery grimace. “Do you actually sleep?”

Taeyong smiles like a normal person. Ironic. “No. But I can do that thing I do when you start jacking off.” The smile takes on a teasing edge.

Jaehyun whines, mortified. “Oh my god.”

“It’s cute you think that’s embarrassing.” He pauses. “Do you want me to- sleep next to you?”

If Jaehyun says yes, he knows he’ll regret it when he wakes up. But.

“Mmhmm.” He craves warmth of another body, the warmth of Taeyong’s body, knowing something so powerful and dangerous is protecting him, on his side.  _Even if_ _it’s_ _only for today._

The bed shifts and Taeyong lays down on next to Jaehyun. He puts an arm under his head. He doesn’t move to...hug Jaehyun, like he did in the bathroom.

Jaehyun is really,  _really_ gonna regret this later.

“Can you-“ He trails off, too embarrassed to finish.

Taeyong turns onto his side. “Are you okay? Do you want me to-“ he makes a hugging motion.

Jaehyun shakes his head. “I feel okay now. I’m just really tired. Could you do like, in the bathroom...” tears of exhaustion are forming in his eyes. He probably looks on the verge of another emotional breakdown.

Luckily, Taeyong understands. He nods, burying Jaehyun against his chest and holding on tight. He drapes a leg over Jaehyun’s own that are curled up. The pressure feels so good, so grounding.

Jaehyun feels relieved.  _Safe._ Cuddling with a demon.

“I’ll wake you up in a few hours, okay? Go to sleep,” Taeyong whispers.

Jaehyun’s already fading out of consciousness. He doesn’t respond. 

He also doesn’t feel it when Taeyong presses his lips lightly to Jaehyun’s forehead.

 

 ——-

 

“So what do you wanna do? My house or yours?” Doyoung kicks a piece of litter down the street.

Jaehyun squints his eyes against the sun. “My mom’s at work, we can go to mine-“ he gasps loudly. “Doyoung, look! A cat! It’s so cute!” He runs ahead to pet it.

It’s black, with two different colored eyes. Jaehyun strokes it softly. It’s fur is warm from laying in the sun.

Doyoung walks over. “Do you think it’s a stray? No collar.” He crouches down next to Jaehyun, scratching the cat behind one ear.

“I hope not. There’s no way I can sneak him into my house. Or her. Do you think it’s a girl cat?” Doyoung shakes his head. “I think it’s a boy cat. Girls suck.”

Jaehyun nods, trying to look serious. “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll come back for you tomorrow kitty! I promise!” He scratches behind its ears.

“That feels so good, don’t stop,” the cat moans.

Jaehyun looks at Doyoung, puzzled. Were cats always able to talk? How had Jaehyun never noticed?

Doyoung nods. “Yes, master.” He begins robotically petting the cat.

The cat stares at Jaehyun, green eye twinkling. “Bring me to your house. I have unfinished business there.”

Jaehyun whines. “Okay, but you can’t stay too long, alright? My mom’s gonna be home from work soon.” The cat nods. “It won’t take very long.”

Doyoung scoops up the cat, turning to look at Jaehyun. His eyes are completely black. Jaehyun’s jaw drops.

“Whoa, that’s so cool? Have you always been able to do that?”

Doyoung doesn’t answer. He walks down the street in the direction of Jaehyun’s house. He’s suddenly super fast. Jaehyun runs to keep up with his walking pace.

They arrive at his house in no time at all. It looks wonky. The windows are moving around the wall, and there’s no door, just a gaping hole. The house itself is hovering over the ground, bobbing up and down.

“Hi Jaehyun! How was school!” His neighbor, Miss Kim, yells from across the street.

“Hi Miss Kim! It was good! And look, I found a cat!”

Miss Kim nods furiously. “That’s good! Protect it with your life and soul!” Her eyes are black now too.

“How are you doing that with your eyes, Miss Kim?” He yells, but for some reason his voice won’t come out of his throat. He tries to say it again, only air. “I will!” He says instead. His voice works for that.

Doyoung is walking on the ceiling when he enters his house. The cat sits in the middle of the living room, couch and TV swirling around it in a cloud of energy.

“Do you wanna play Mario Kart!” Jaehyun shouts over the loud crackles of lightning and thunder from outside. When did it start raining? The roof has disappeared, water getting all over the furniture. Crap, his mom is gonna be  _so_ mad.

Doyoung levitates above the ground. "La Diablo estas vivanta ene de mia korpo,” his voice growls deeply.

“What?” Jaehyun yells. He really needs to pay more attention in Spanish class.

Tires roll up in the driveway. Oh  _frick._ He’s gotta clean all this up before his mom comes in-

“She’s late,” the cat growls. Jaehyun shakes his head. “Cat, we need to clean this up, she’s gonna ground me for the rest of my life.”

The cat chuckles. “You don’t have a life.”

Jaehyun throws his hands up in frustration. “Doyoung, we gotta-“

Doyoung’s head is gone. His decapitated body runs in frantic circles.

 

Fear stabs Jaehyun, right in the chest. He feels it push through his skin, slide into his ribs and stomach, and exit through his back. It’s a sword. Another one pierces his left foot, trapping him to the floor.

He hears the key turn in the lock. The door opens. “Jaehyun? What’s going on in here!” His Mom enters.

She looks the same as always. Beautiful and exhausted. The worry lines on her forehead never seem to go away.

“ _Mom,”_ he cries. “I’m scared.”

She sets down her purse. “Do you want a sandwich? We still have some of the apricot jam from Miss Kim.” She pulls her hair out of a bun. It falls in long brown waves down her back. “I’m exhausted, work was nuts today. My boss came to visit as a ‘nice surprise’” she makes air quotes with an eye roll. “If he really cares  _so_ much about our well being as employees, he should stop making women wear heels as part of the uniform,” she slips her shoes off, sighing when her bare feet meet the carpet.

“Jaehyun, did you spill something here? It’s all wet.”

“Mom, we’re gonna  _die._ We have to get out of the house!”

She looks at him, exasperated. “Jae, you’re such a worrier. I don’t know where you get it from, seriously. You’re the oldest thirteen year old I know,” she frowns, concerned. “Are you having the Bad Thoughts again?”

He nods. “Yes, so many. Mom I’m going crazy,” his voice sounds different, deeper. He look down. His body is much bigger.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She crosses the room, avoiding the sword in his stomach to reach up and ruffle his hair. “You’re remembering to take your medicine, right?”

He shakes his head. “I can’t afford it anymore. Mom. I need you to come home. Please, I promise I’ll be such a good son. I’ll never be sad or angry at you, I’ll cook for you everyday. I love you Mom, please come home.”

A soft tail curls around his leg. The cat creeps around him, looking him in the face. “Are you asking to make a deal?” It asks. In the blink of an eye, it’s no longer a cat.

Taeyong lays on the floor, naked, with a long leathery tail strangling Jaehyun’s leg. Two horns poke out from his hair. His nails are black and sharp as daggers.

Jaehyun shakes his head. “No, I’m not making a deal,” he can’t tell if this is part of the dream or if Taeyong is really in his head. “You’re horrible to me. I can’t believe you’re doing this to me while I sleep.”

Taeyong shakes his head. “Baby, this is all you. Do some self reflection before assuming I’m always out to steal your soul. I already told you I don’t want it.”

His mom is still ruffling his hair, smiling fondly. Jaehyun wants to hug her, but he doesn’t want to push the sword deeper into his chest.

Taeyong blinks up at him, eyes glowing dark wine. “Is this where she died?”

Jaehyun flinches. “You’re not supposed to know about that.”

“I don’t. This is your dream Jae, we’re all you. We know the same things you know.”

Jaehyun looks away. “...Yes...”

Taeyong hums. “Must’ve been hard for you. What did the police say?”

“...Suicide...” he can’t breathe.

“....and do you think it was a suicide?”

Jaehyun stares at his mom. Blood is starting to leak from her eyes in red drops.

 

“No,” he whispers.

“It’s time to wake up,” Taeyong grins so wide Jaehyun can see every single one of his razor sharp teeth.

 

 ——-

 

“Jaehyun? C’mon, you gotta wake up,” Taeyong gently shakes his arm.

Jaehyun opens his eyes, a dark room greeting him. He can’t control his breathing, it comes out in loud gasps.

“Oh shit, what happened? I put myself to sleep,” Taeyong gathers Jaehyun into his arms.

“Did you kill my mom?” Jaehyun can’t even look at him.

Taeyong’s stunned into silence. “What?” he whispers.

“You were in my dream and you killed her. I watched you do it. Did you kill her? Was it real?”

Taeyong slowly sits back on the bed, releasing his hold on Jaehyun. He shakes his head. “Dreams can just be...dreams. Your brain is combining things together to try and make sense of them.” He looks incredibly pained. “...I didn’t know she died.”

Jaehyun opens his tear filled eyes. “Did you kill Doyoung?”

Taeyong falters, even more confused. He chooses his words carefully. “No, I did not kill Doyoung. I don’t know who that is. I’m sorry.”

Jaehyun’s body shakes with a sob, tears rolling down his cheeks. “I believe you,” he chokes in a strained whisper.

“Did I do anything else in the dream that you’re concerned about?”

“You turned into a cat,” he gives a watery sigh, it gets mixed in with his shaky sobs. “And then you were naked.”

“That  _is_ concerning,” he rubs - hand up and down Jaehyun’s back. “Can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer.”

Jaehyun nods, shaking.

“Your Mom...how did she die?”

_Fuck._

“You asked that in the dream, too,” he chokes out.

Taeyong looks ready to interrupt, but Jaehyun has to get it out. The words he has never been able to speak are tearing him apart from the inside.

“I was fourteen. I was coming home from school. It was storming really bad. The power went out everywhere. She- she came home from work early. Her car was in the driveway.” He takes a deep, shuddering breath.

“I went in the house and called out for her. She didn’t answer. I thought, she’s taking a nap, I’ll wake her up later. I couldn’t see anything. I started walking through the house. I went into the hallway. There’s no windows, so I- I  _really_ couldn’t see anything.” Taeyong’s fingers increase their pressure on his back.

“Then I went down the hallway and I stepped on something. It was long and kind of soft, but hard too. I thought it was a baguette, how stupid is that-“ he pinches his own arm. Taeyong inhales sharply, but doesn’t comment.

“I reached down to pick it up. It was a leg. I got scared. I said ‘Mom? Is that you?’ I thought she passed out on the floor. I started shaking her body. It was wet. I thought it was  _rain._ I went back into the kitchen and found a flashlight. And then I... _I-“_

 

“She was torn apart. There was blood everywhere. And her eyes were...they were open. She was looking at me.”

A deep breath. The numbness takes his body, but Taeyong’s grounding pressure persists.

“I was never the same. My dad left before I was born. I moved in with my Grandma. She loved me very much, but she was too old to care for a child. She couldn’t raise me right. I ended up alone most of the time. And then she died, too. Just before I turned eighteen. She gave me everything she had. That’s how I’m at college, right now. They both left me all their money. I’d rather live on the street for the rest of my life than have both of them gone, but I guess that’s not up to me.”

Taeyong slowly lays them both back onto the bed. “You never tried to seek help?”

Jaehyun laughs painfully. “Do you think I can afford that, really-“

“You could, maybe. Does your school have a therapist?” How does Taeyong know the treatment for mental illness? Jaehyun shakes his head. It wouldn’t help. He knows it wouldn’t help.

“Talking about it doesn’t help because no one has any answers. No one knows how she really died. It just makes me feel worse.” He sighs, deep and shaky. Tightens his grip on Taeyong’s arm.

“So you don’t think it was a suicide.”

Jaehyun flinches.

“No. There’s no way. She would have never done that. And the way she looked at me. No way,” he shakes his head furiously. “I would have thought that no matter what, but then Doyoung-“ He’s so frustrated he wants to scream.

“Doyoung died in the same way. And they said that was a suicide too.”

"Taeyong’s jaw drops. “Oh,” he whispers.

“He died when I was seventeen. His parents never treated him well. I think that’s why he liked being around me. We were weird for each other.” He’s rambling now, the initial terror worn off. He’s tried so hard to never talk about this, but as Taeyong himself said, he’s seen worse. He won’t think Jaehyun is crazy or fucked up.

“For a long time I thought a serial killer was after me. Now I just think I was unlucky. I can’t clearly think about the circumstances anymore. I really have no idea why they died.”

Jaehyun searches Taeyong for a reaction. He seems distressed and shocked. They regard each other for a moment.

Taeyong’s eyes really are spectacular. His whole face is a lot more angelic than demonic.

“I’ve never viewed death tragically before,” Taeyong whispers. “To me it’s just routine.”

Jaehyun shrugs helplessly. “It’s routine to a lot of people. I think about it more than I should.” Taeyong is still holding onto him, tightly. Jaehyun presses his fingers into Taeyong’s skin. It feels completely human.

_Have_ _you_ _always_ _been a_ _demon_ _?_ He wants to ask.  _Do_ _you_ _know what life feels like? Do_ _you_ _know how bad it hurts to be alive?_

Taeyong scratches behind Jaehyun’s ear. “It’s almost eight, do you have work tonight?”

Jaehyun nods. “Yes, but...yes.” He can’t skip.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay home? I could even call your boss. Now that I’m mobile,” he smiles.

Jaehyun finally, finally is able to smile back. “No, I have to go. If I stay here it’s like...it’s like I’m giving into the past. It already controls me so much.”

Taeyong hums. “I guess I understand that. From my perspective though, letting yourself heal isn’t giving into the past. I think it’s necessary for you to enjoy your future.”

Jaehyun sighs. “I just can’t. I’m sorry-“

“Don’t apologize to me. You have nothing to be sorry for.” Taeyong moves to sit up, stretching. “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me about...your past.” He looks away. “I can try to tell you my own. Someday. That is, if you still want me to stay here.” He scratches his cheek. “Hell isn’t asking me to come back. I think they’ve forgotten about me down there.”

Jaehyun sits up too. “Do you want to stay here?”

Taeyong nods.

“Yes. I do. If you’ll let me. I can always just stay in the bathroom,” he offers cheerfully.

Jaehyun shakes his head. “You can stay in all the rooms. All two of them.”

Taeyong  _beams._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The Devil is living in my flesh!" - this is what doyoung says in latin
> 
> Love it? Hate it? Feel totally indifferent? Let me know!
> 
> hopefully we'll be meeting some new faces in the next chapter...stay tuned :0


	6. Dance With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for an underage sex mention and a panic attack description near the end.

Two silhouettes peer out of a dark alley, backs pressed up against the wall. The last light from sunset casts a dark orange glow on the street outside the shadows. It catches the tops of their heads and illuminates single strands of hair. They exchange glances while they scrutinize an apartment complex.

“Okay, you _know_ I trust you. But come on, really? You’re sure he’s in there?”

“ _Yes._ I told you, I can sense it.” The figure on the left rolls his eyes.

“Ahh, okay okay,” the other man leans over and nudges his partners arm playfully. “This doesn’t seem weird to you at all? The great Taeyong getting trapped in some college town?”

The man on the left hums thoughtfully. “It does seem weird to me, that’s why we’re here. I think his short term memory got erased. The confusion would make it hard for him to know how to escape. I’m positive there’s a Heptagram in there somewhere and he forgets where it was drawn.”

“So eventually he finds it, destroys it, and leaves. Right?”

“He’s been gone for a year. Something else is going on.”

“Alright, alright. What’s the plan captain?”

The man’s lips twitch up in an unwilling smile. “We need to find out who’s living in that apartment.”

 

———-

 

It’s been three weeks since Taeyong moved out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. And, by default, the kitchen.

He’s a surprisingly good cook despite the lack of ingredients. Jaehyun occasionally sneaks home food from the diner for Taeyong to mess around with. He’s able to make an edible dish out of pretty much anything.

He’s also gone outside. The first time he left Jaehyun lowkey freaked out, worried that once he got a taste of freedom he wouldn’t come back. True to the symbolism in Jaehyun’s nightmares, Taeyong is extremely cat like. He’ll leave all day doing who knows what, and come home at dusk with something for Jaehyun to eat. When Jaehyun asked if he’d gotten a job somewhere to pay for things, Taeyong had shrugged and given a vague “kind of.” It’s goes unspoken that he’s using mind manipulation on other humans. Jaehyun’s slightly bothered but not enough to confront him about it.

The constant presence of another person around to talk to makes Jaehyun open up a lot more. The quiet pressure he often feels around his other friends to not disappoint them or reveal something disturbing isn’t a problem with Taeyong. Since they discussed the grim details of his past, Jaehyun finds himself telling Taeyong about all sorts of things. How his panic attacks feel. What situations trigger them. His overwhelming Bad Thoughts that appear out of nowhere and for no reason.

He tells him little, insignificant things too. His favorite Drake song and secret appreciation for High School Musical, his tips on finding the best clothes at the thrift store. Taeyong loves fashion. He has no fear of standing out or looking ridiculous, and of course he never does. He manages to look like a runway model in oversized overalls and a cropped pink shirt that states Girl Scout Sleepover Camp 2006. He uses magic to change his hair color almost daily. Yesterday it was a pastel pink. Today it’s black with blue highlights. His ability to alter his appearance at will leaves Jaehyun with all sorts of questions on the extent of his powers.

He’s laying in a patch of fading sunlight on the floor. The only sounds in the room are the scratch of Jaehyun’s pencil and a warm breeze blowing in the window. Jaehyun’s been doing calculus for two hours and he can feel his brain melting into a pile of goo.

“Can you dye my hair?” he murmurs, after some thought.

Taeyong stretches with a yawn and winces at the crack his back makes.

“Really? But your hair color is beautiful. I love it so much.”

Jaehyun blushes, thinking back to the vent. _Brown is a beautiful color._ “I dunno, I’ve always had it brown. I want to change it for summer.” He pauses. “What do you think would look good?” It sounds like he’s fishing for compliments.

Taeyong puts a finger to his chin. “Hmm, you’re so pale. Dark colors would be best, but I think you can pull off anything.” His eyes light up. “What about a purple gray?”

Jaehyun raises his eyebrows. “Uh...are you sure that would look good?”

Taeyong smiles sweetly. “I think it does.”

What. Jaehyun grabs at his head. He runs to the bathroom and gasps. His hair-

The color is still brown enough that he doesn’t look like an old man, and his normally wavy style is slicked back and parted. His eyes seem lighter than usual, contrasting well with the darker color. It actually looks really good.

He leans out the door frame. He feels awkward talking about his appearance. It’s not something he’s ever cared about before, at least not in a positive way. He’s always been extremely self conscious but only when it comes to other people viewing him as strange and annoying.

“Yay!” Taeyong smiles. “Do you like it? It really brings out your eyes.”

Jaehyun nods. “It’s nice. I’ll keep it for a while.”

“Okie dokie. Seriously, you look good. Like a lawyer or something. Very fancy~” Taeyong resumes lounging on the ground. By now the sun has set completely. Crickets chirp outside the window.

Jaehyun waits for Taeyong to shut his eyes. He returns to the bathroom mirror.

He stares.

He imagines he’s a stranger meeting himself for the first time. Dark brown eyes, kind of small. Dead looking. Too thin lips. Too wide jaw. Too skinny arms.

He shuts his eyes tight in frustration. Opens them with a sigh. Then he tries to smile. It’s painful to watch.

Taeyong keeps calling him beautiful. It has to be a form of subconscious manipulation. Jaehyun thinks it must be a demon thing. Charming without even trying.

Doyoung used to compliment him. He’d tell him he liked the way he looked when he came.

_So beautiful- ah- yes, do that again, please Jae, I thought about you all week-_

Taeyong runs into the room, effectively cutting off Jaehyun’s spiraling. “Don’t answer the door.” He whispers.

The blood is rushing through Jaehyun’s ears. He was in the middle of such an obscene thought. He blinks in a daze. “Someone’s at the door?“

_Knock knock knock!_

Taeyong puts a finger to his mouth and urgently shakes his head. Jaehyun’s eyes widen fearfully. He nods quickly. They press against the bathroom wall, peeking around the doorframe. Jaehyun hears a muffled voice from the hallway.

“I don’t think anyone’s here. Yes, I knocked twice...how should I know?” It’s man’s voice. He sounds frustrated.

“I’m gonna go inside. If Taeyong’s in there he’ll recognize me as his kind.” A sigh. “No Yuta, as an alien. A demon, _obviously.”_

Jaehyun gasps and Taeyong quickly presses a hand over his mouth.

“ _Stay in here, don’t come out no matter what,”_ he whispers. Jaehyun feels something cold rush through his arms. He looks down. He can’t see his body. Holy shit. He’s invisible.

Taeyong closes his eyes. His features begin to morph. In moments, Jaehyun is face to face with himself. He covers his gaping mouth with his hands and slides down the wall to sit on the floor in shock.

Taeyong leaves the bathroom and crosses the main room with exaggerated urgency. The bathroom door shuts and locks on its own. Jaehyun’s breathing increases. He strains to listen.

He hears Taeyong open the door. “Hi, sorry, I was listening to music. What’s going on?” He rattles out, breathlessly. A perfect imitation of Jaehyun’s own voice.

“Oh! Hello. You probably don’t recognize me. I live upstairs. I was wondering if you have any money left on your laundry card? I lost mine and I really need to wash my clothes. They told me I have to wait a week to get a new one.” It’s the same voice from earlier. He speaks with a perfect mix of confidence and slight embarrassment over having to ask a stranger for help. It’s refined manipulation only another demon could pull off, Jaehyun thinks.

“Ooh, that sucks. Let me go find mine, I’ll come with you. I have laundry to do too.”

A relieved groan. “Thank you _so_ much. Um, I hate to ask another favor, but could I use your bathroom really quick? While you get it?”

Jaehyun stills, breath catching.

“I would totally let you, but sadly the toilets broken. The maintenance man still hasn’t responded to my request,” the sound of a zipper opening on Jaehyun’s backpack. “This building is really screwing us both over, huh?”

“Yeah. Totally.”

“By the way, what’s your name? I’m Yongsoo,” Taeyong shuffles around in the backpack. He’s not going to find anything, Jaehyun realizes. His wallet is in his shorts.

“Sicheng. Do you go to Metrotech University?”

“I do! I’m studying Engineering. Have you seen me before?”

“I think so! I’m in BusCom. You start finals yet?”

Jaehyun wonders how long this is going to go on. He completely trusts Taeyong’s ability to handle the situation, but his initial reaction had Jaehyun on edge. Not to mention his body is slowly becoming visible and the onset of a panic attack is a very real problem.

“Sicheng, I hate to say it but I can’t find my wallet. I must have left it in the bathroom. Could you wait here for a moment?”

“Yeah, no problem.” 

Footsteps approach the door. Taeyong opens it narrowly and slips in, turning the light on. He looks at Jaehyun and puts a finger to his lips.

Jaehyun shakes his head frantically, eyes wide and watery. Taeyong still looks just like him. It’s unnerving. _What’s happening?!_ Jaehyun mouths. 

Taeyong holds his gaze while he pretends to shuffle around. Jaehyun’s hands tremble as he hands him his wallet. Taeyong runs a hand through Jaehyun’s hair, scratching behind his ear. He looks at him for a moment. Jaehyun’s normally dead eyes sparkle with the life Taeyong’s energy gives them. He realizes one is still very faintly green. Suddenly, they widen. He spins toward the door. Sicheng is staring at them, amused. He’s tall and skinny, with black hair and sharp, sparkling eyes. He smiles innocently, and if Jaehyun wasn’t about to scream in horror, he might’ve thought it was a pretty expression.

“Aha. Yongsoo, is this your twin brother?”

He lunges. Taeyong immediately shifts back into his own body, just in time to grab Jaehyun at lightning speed and launch both of them out of the way. They shoot through the doorway into the main room, crashing onto the floor. Sicheng whirls around. His eyes are black. Jaehyun’s rapid heartbeat stutters.

“Taeyong, what are you doing? He’s trapping you in here!” Sicheng points an accusatory finger at Jaehyun.

Taeyong jumps up and places himself in front of Jaehyun protectively. “Who are you? How do you know my name?” He seethes.

Sicheng stands up, wiping the dust off his pants. “Haven’t you see me around Metrotech? We had English together last year.” He crosses the room in a flash, slashing at the air with claw like nails. He aims straight for Jaehyun’s face.

The air around Taeyong shifts. He raises a finger and Sicheng goes flying. He slams against the wall with a shout.

Taeyong doesn’t hesitate and walks briskly across the room, each step echoing. He traces a finger down Sicheng’s chest, and the other demon’s body contorts as his limbs bind together.

“Nice to see you’re still- ah! p-powerful,” Sicheng groans. “H-ha.”

Taeyong growls. It vibrates in the room. “How do you know me?”

Sicheng writhes in the binding. He gasps when Taeyong tightens it. “O-other...demons....” he chokes out. “We’re curious about...you. Gone...so long,” his black eyes roll up in his head.

Jaehyun realizes Sicheng’s going to pass out, and then they really won’t know who else is coming after them. He tries to say something but as usual, his voice won’t work. He slaps the floor urgently.

Taeyong spins around quickly. He scans Jaehyun’s body, looking for the problem. Jaehyun shakes his head and points to Sicheng. Taeyong startles and releases his constraint on Sicheng’s throat. He gasps and wheezes, coughing.

Taeyong quickly goes to Jaehyun. “You’re alright? Did he hurt you?” He moves to run his hands down Jaehyun’s face but stops them midair when he notices his long black nails.

Jaehyun grabs onto his wrists anyway. “I’m fine,” he whispers. “But are- are other demons coming? What do we do?”

Taeyong shakes his head. He looks desperately confused. “I don’t know. This is coming out of nowhere. I think he’s doing this out of curiosity.” He turns back to Sicheng, who’s picking himself off the floor. “Answer my questions,” Taeyong booms. “Why are you here? Is Sicheng your real name? Did someone send you? Why hasn’t Hell contacted me? Why are you attacking him?” He gestures to Jaehyun with his head.

Sicheng _laughs._ “Jesus Christ,” he starts. Taeyong flinches so hard he stumbles. He opens his mouth, shocked, but Sicheng cuts him off.

“I was curious where you went. You used to be a really big bother in the hunter community, then you totally fell off the radar. My name is Winwin. No one sent me here. Hell is a bunch of morons who can’t keep track of their top demons. I thought he,” he imitates Taeyong’s gesture towards Jaehyun, “was trapping you here. I guess I was wrong though. You’re just in _love~”_ he purrs.

Jaehyun shakes his head frantically. 

“And about the Jesus Christ thing,” Taeyong flinches again. “I cut ties with Hell a long time ago. I can say whatever the _Hell_ I want.” He grins like a kid cursing for the first time.

_His personality is a lot like Taeyongs_ Jaehyun faintly registers, right next to his loud mental protests on them being in love.

Taeyong seems satisfied with Winwin’s answer. He minutely relaxes. “I’m only believing you because you can speak the Antithesis’s name. You said you’re with hunters. Are you trying to eliminate me?”

Ice cold fear sparks in Jaehyun. _Eliminate_ Taeyong.

He sits up straighter behind Taeyong. “Taeyong isn’t hurting anyone, and I’m not hurting him either. We just live together. T-that’s it,” he stutters. Taeyong looks back at him like he’s crazy.

Winwin’s jaw drops. He looks impressed. “...You’re a gutsy human. You ever thought about becoming a demon hunter?”

Jaehyun’s anger encourages him. “And kill Taeyong? N-no thanks.”

“You barely even know what Taeyong is!” Winwin exclaims incredulously. “Underneath this pretty boy human facade, he’s a bad boy. A _real_ bad boy. Not a high school dropout in a leather jacket. But to answer your earlier question,” he turns to Taeyong, “No, we’re not trying to eliminate you. Me and my partner got curious when your name stopped coming up on our watchlist. Did something happen to your memory? You went from one soul a week to playing dress up with some human. You have to admit that makes no sense.”

Taeyong falters. “How did you know my memory got erased?”

Winwin is genuinely excited. He weakly clenches his fists up in victory. “That was an educated guess! I can’t wait to tell Yuta I was right!” He beams.

Jaehyun and Taeyong exchange a look. “Your memory got erased? Why didn’t you tell me?” Jaehyun whispers.

Taeyong shrugs helplessly. “I didn’t think it was important anymore. I know it was done so I wouldn’t remember where the Heptagram was drawn, but we found it. The thought just whooshed out of my head.”

“That’s kind of an important thing to _whoosh_ out of your head!” Jaehyun yells under his breath.

“Yeah, seriously,” Winwin chimes in. They jolt their heads in his direction. “Whoever did that has some serious beef with you.”

“Don’t you have a partner waiting somewhere to help you kill J- the owner of the apartment?” Taeyong asks bitterly.

“Jaehyun? No, we’re not going to kill him. Don’t look so surprised. Your name is next to the doorbell in the lobby. Are you two sharing brain cells as well as a bed?”

Jaehyun and Taeyong open their mouths to protest, but a cellphone ringing cuts them off.

Winwin pulls it out of his pocket, stumbling on weak legs. “Yuta? Yeah, I found him. I didn’t say I got him, I said I found him. He’s not planning anything, he’s honeymooning with some naive masochist. And- don’t cut me off, _and_ I was right about his memory. I will be referring to this incident in the future the next time you doubt my intelligence. Goodbye.” He hangs up on the loudly protesting voice.

Jaehyun’s too confused to take offense. Winwins working with demon hunters? As a demon?

“Well, I’m done here. Taeyong, you should figure out who trapped you. From what I can see, they’re a highly skilled demonologist that didn’t _accidentally_ leave you here for a year. And Jaehyun...good luck. Maybe date a human. This usually doesn’t work out too well,” he gestures between them. “If you want to contact me for positive reasons, here’s my summoning sigil.” He hands Taeyong a piece of paper. An intricate symbol is drawn on it in blood.

“Oh, and Taeyong, if you get your memory back and start stealing souls, you’ll definitely see me again. For negative reasons. Bye!” He waves cheerfully as he limps out Jaehyun’s apartment door, clutching his side where Taeyong threw him at the wall. The door closes behind him.

 

——-

 

Taeyong sighs. “He basically just gave my memories back to me, telling me all that nonsense. What an idiot.” He slumps against the wall and slides down next to Jaehyun.

Jaehyun stares at him, trying to figure out what to say first.

Taeyong meets his gaze. “You already knew I ate souls. Don’t go all squeamish on me now,” He smiles weakly. “Not after you stood up to a demon for me. That was very brave.” His nails have shrunk back to their normal length. He reaches up and ruffles Jaehyun’s hair.

Jaehyun sighs. “I’m not. I’m concerned about the other stuff you might not remember. I’m concerned that a demon hunting organization knows where I live and broke in and attacked us. I’m-“

“Eh, I know that organization. They’re a lot of talk.” Taeyong shrugs. “I could take Winwin in my sleep. I doubt their other demon play toys are much stronger than he is.”

Jaehyun pouts, shrugging off Taeyong’s touch. “You didn’t respond to my first concern. And you don’t sleep.” He looks at the floor. He knows Taeyong is also upset about the things he can’t remember. He can see it on his face. “Why is Winwin working for them? Isn’t it cruel to go against his own kind?”

Taeyong laughs. “You’re so cute. We’re demons Jae, no moral code. If he wants to play for the other team he can do whatever he wants, I don’t care.” His expression hardens. “Unless he tries to attack you again.” He scrutinizes Jaehyun. “Are you _sure_ you’re okay? You know what I mean. Lightbulbs.”

Jaehyun nods. “Lightbulbs. I’m okay. Really.

Taeyong runs a hand across his face, sighing. “This type of thing never stresses me out. It’s hard having someone else to worry about.”

Jaehyun scoffs. “Then don’t worry about me, geez. No ones asking you to.” He gets up and sits on the bed, facing away from Taeyong. He looks at his iPod. 10:34 pm. 

He hears Taeyong stand up and walk over. “Oh Jae, you know I didn’t mean it like that.” He tentatively reaches out to rub Jaehyun’s arm. When he receives no protests he scoots forward, wrapping it around Jaehyun’s chest and pressing his back against Taeyong’s body. “I worry about you because I care about you, and no ones making me care about you. I care about you just because.”

“Just because of what?”

“Just because.” 

“That’s not an answer,” Jaehyun turns around, trying not to smile. “I’m sorry for being so hard to care about. I’m really trying to be better, I promise-“

“No apologizing to me about yourself. It’s not allowed. Especially after tonight. I should be apologizing to you, like, twenty times. A hundred times.”

Jaehyun shakes his head. “You had no idea a weirdo stalker traitor was going to try to kill me for no reason. You can’t blame yourself for that.”

Taeyong laughs. “Damn, I wish you’d called him that while he was still here. He deserves it for what he said about you.” He chuckles, muttering “Naive masochist...”

Isn’t he though? Jaehyun feels like his whole life could be summed up in those two words. He thinks he knows so much about the world but he doesn’t. Painful experiences don’t make you wiser than anyone else. If anything, he is a masochist, for wallowing in his own misery for so long.

Taeyong notices he’s gone quiet. “You think too much. I can hear your brain. Winwin doesn’t know anything about you. His judgements mean nothing.”

“Winwin’s probably a thousand years old. I’m sure he’s encountered other people like me. It’s not a bad description.”

Taeyong cups his face in his hands and looks at him, seriously. “Jaehyun, I’m much, _much_ older than Winwin is. And I’ve never met anyone like you.”

The silence that follows such a profound statement isn’t uncomfortable. They regard each other with a level of openness that Jaehyun has never felt with another person. Not his mom, not Doyoung, no one.

“I’ve never met anyone like you, either.” He whispers.

Taeyong smiles fondly. “I should hope not. One demon is enough for a lifetime, right?”

Jaehyun shakes his head. It’s his turn to be serious. “You know what I mean.” He raises a shaky hand, and touches it to Taeyong’s hair. Taeyong’s eyes go impossibly wide.

His hair is soft as silk. Jaehyun tentatively runs his fingers through it in a trancelike state. He refuses to look Taeyong in the eye.

“You do this to me all the time. Do you- do you like it, too?”

Taeyong’s still stunned, but he nods. “Yeah, I um-“ he clears his throat. “I do. Other demons have done it to me, before. It felt good without being too much.”

Jaehyun nods, brushing the strands. “I get that.”

“Of course you do. You get everything about me.”

Jaehyun sighs sadly. “I don’t, though. Why would someone erase your memories, Taeyong? I trust you, I really do. But can you even trust yourself? It could go beyond the Heptagram. Something terrible could’ve happened, that you don’t even know about.”

Taeyong stills. He looks incredibly pained. “...If I did do something bad...would you still care about me?”

Jaehyun’s hand falters. “I really want to say yes, but I- It depends on what it is. I have morals. I can’t help it.”

Taeyong shakes his head. “No, no, I understand. But isn’t-“ he hesitates. “Isn’t love supposed to be unconditional?”

Jaehyun freezes. What.

“Is this about what Winwin said-“

“It’s not about what Winwin said. It doesn’t have to be romantic love. We don’t have to be dating. I know what this feeling is.” He sounds completely serious. Jaehyun’s mind goes blank, save for a ringing in his ears. He can faintly hear his heartbeat. He knows Taeyong can feel it.

“I’m not like, in love with you. Or taking advantage of you. I just...love you. It’s what happens when you care about someone a lot, right? Isn’t that what human love is?” Taeyong seems confused by Jaehyun’s reaction.

He tries to calm down. Takes a deep breath. “I- yes, that is what love is, but I-“ he can’t seem to say the words.

“Is this Lightbulb? Or is this something else?” Taeyong asks, guilty.

“Kind of Lightbulb, but it’s not- it’s not you. It’s- it’s Mom and Doyoung. Not you.”

Taeyong nods. “Okay. I won’t bring it up again. I care about you a lot, that’s it. That’s all I meant to say.”

He freezes when Jaehyun buries his face in his chest. “I know Taeyong. I know. You didn’t say anything wrong. I wish I could say it back. I just can’t,” he whimpers into his shirt. 

Taeyong hugs him, hard. “It’s okay, I understand. I’m not even human, so- yeah. It’s hard to love a demon, I understand,” He sounds so resigned.

Jaehyun shakes his head. “It’s not that. I think I-“ he whines in frustration. Why is it so hard to say? “I feel the same way, I just can’t say it. Because of my past. Please don’t think of yourself that way. I care about you more than anyone.”

He feels Taeyong slowly relax against him. “...I get it.” He whispers. 

Jaehyun smiles into his chest. “Of course you do. You get everything about me,” He parrots. 

Taeyong’s body shakes with a laugh.

Jaehyun pulls back to look at his face. “Tomorrow after work, do you know anything about demonology?”

Taeyong cocks his head, puzzled. “What?”

Jaehyun clarifies. “I was totally useless today. I cried in the bathroom like a big baby. Tomorrow after I get home from work, if you know any demonology, can you teach me some? Not all hunters are demons, right? Humans can do this stuff too?”

Taeyong nods, slowly. “I do know it, but Jae...you don’t have to worry about any other demons. If they’re stronger than I am, they’re dealing with bigger fish than some human world drama. It’s rare for a demon as powerful as me to come up here. That’s why Winwin was so...curious.”

Jaehyun shakes his head. “Please? I want to be useful. Even if I never have to use any of it, if something happens to you and I can’t do anything, I’ll never forgive myself.” He admits, painfully.

Taeyong smiles. “Such a sweetheart. I’ll teach you the basic information, okay? Nothing crazy. We don’t need you accidentally waking up in Hell.”

“Wouldn’t you come down to rescue me?” Jaehyun teases.

“What kind of question is that? Of course I would.”

“Then I’m not worried about it.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE: hey ya'll so my current schedule has coincidentally turned into Jaehyun's (minus coming home at night to a hot demon) so updates will be slower bc I'm so busy. just wanted to give a heads up to people bc it always makes me sad when im invested in a fic and then the author just kinda disappears. im still writing so have no fear! :) <3
> 
> \------
> 
> Sooo I saw NCT’s concert in Newark and all I can say is holy shit, if y’all don’t stan Taeil and Doyoung’s vocals...idk what to tell u. Everyone sounded fantastic live!!!! :) Seeing Jaehyun in person was a religious experience. He’s so cute <3 the love of my life honestly. I really loved the VRs they were super creative and well edited. I did miss Winwin :,( but he seems happy with WayV and I support that
> 
> Also can people pls stop stalking the boys during their tour it’s really creepy and it’s not cute. You’re gonna regret it in a few years when you look back and realize how uncomfortable you made them. And this is coming from someone who writes and reads exploitative gay fan fiction lmao
> 
> Rant over, I hope u guys liked this chapter, I think it’s my favorite so far. Life has been pretty rough for me lately but writing this is a healthy distraction and it makes me so happy to see that other people are able to benefit from it. I’d still be writing this even if I got absolutely no response, so the fact that people are commenting is crazy to me. Thank you, seriously.


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